


There Beneath

by The_Falling_Star



Series: A call, a withering echo, and it sings all-knowing words [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Aborted Undertale Genocide Run, Big Brother W. D. Gaster, F/M, Female Chara (Undertale), Flowey (Undertale) Being an Asshole, Goopy W. D. Gaster, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Murderer Chara (Undertale), Nonbinary Chara (Undertale), Original Character(s), POV Third Person, Parent Sans (Undertale), Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Reader is Chara (Undertale), Romance, Sans (Undertale) Needs a Hug, Sans (Undertale) Remembers Resets, Scientist W. D. Gaster, Side Story, Souls, Suicidal Thoughts, The Void, Undertale Genocide Route, Violence, the goopster is not ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24293251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Falling_Star/pseuds/The_Falling_Star
Summary: A collection of alternate POVs from various characters ofFrom the Mouth of an Injured Head.
Relationships: W. D. Gaster/Original Female Character(s), W. D. Gaster/Reader
Series: A call, a withering echo, and it sings all-knowing words [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1753795
Comments: 43
Kudos: 117





	1. The Cave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter should be read after [Chapter 13. ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580004/chapters/58558999)

_I will hold on hope and I won't let you choke_

_On the noose around your neck_

_And I'll find strength in pain_

_And I will change my ways_

_I'll know my name as it's called again_

  
  


* * *

  
  


It was so very rare that Gaster felt dread.

It was difficult to feel much of anything in the un-reality of the void.

Timeless prison that it was, it numbed all the senses yet left one’s sanity intact, leaving the victim to experience a perfect sensory deprivation chamber. Emotions tended to wane just as physical sensations did, without any to stimulus to evoke a stirring of the SOUL the numbness pervaded everything until the mind was as deadened as one’s nerves.

Gaster had existed for so long in such a state that when he did experience something so SOUL-touching as _dread_ he almost marveled at it, as if it were novel. _Savored_ it even.

He was rediscovering with increasing frequency these bouts of intense emotions.

_He quite enjoyed it._

The cause of such escalating occurrences, the cause of his _dread_ , were one in the same, of course.

It was _her_.

_Alex._

A human, of all things. Not quite what he had expected for such a violent race.

...

...She was _lovely._

It was her SOUL, at first. Like a guiding light, his North Star to lead him from the darkness and out of the void. Something about her SOUL drew him in, like a moth to a flame. He wasn’t sure he could have resisted manifesting in her apartment, had he such an impulse. But follow her he did, out of the cage he had inadvertently locked himself into so long ago. 

(Had he not known with 100% certainty such a thing was impossible, he might have speculated they were Soul Mates, tethered as he felt to her. But alas, only monster SOULs were capable of finding and sensing a perfect mate. Humans, he theorized, were too varied in the structure of their SOULs to manage that feat.)

Her SOUL was lovely too, the most brilliant shade of blue imaginable, the most beautiful human SOUL he’d ever seen (and he had certainly seen human SOULs in his time). 

Of course she was pure INTEGRITY, what else could she be?

Gaster, had he been human, would likely have had a Perseverance SOUL (Amusingly, his magic (when he still had it) was purple. Not that such things correlated in monsters). What other trait would allow him to endure this diminished existence? But never, not in _any_ timeline would he be INTEGRITY.

_(Not after what he did.)_

Perhaps that was why he was so drawn in? Because she was all that he wasn’t?

He would have loved her for her SOUL alone, would have loved her for simply existing as a beacon to allow him to escape, to allow him to _continuously exist in reality_. Improbably, he was able to manifest more of himself outside the void with each passing day (To experience time progressing again!), and he was certain it was somehow her doing.

But she turned out to be so much _more_.

He had frightened her when he first attempted to reach through the convergence point. While he couldn’t blame her, his visage was certainly hideous since the _incident_ , she was also so very easily spooked. Quite a nervous little thing that almost frustrated him at times. She was a human with a SOUL so much more powerful that the diseased thing lingering in his chest for Asgore’s sake. Why was she always so scared? (Why did it always remind him of what he now was?)

He felt remorse, certainly, even if he had never intended to frighten her. He hated seeing her cry. Hated seeing her scream herself awake. She did it so often, and it was only later that he learned her psyche was likely damaged, some trauma buried deep enough even she could no longer remember. 

(It reminded him too much of himself.)

But despite her fear, she accepted him wholeheartedly once she understood (if only in part) what he was. Welcomed him into her home. Tried to keep him entertained, even when she hated his favorite shows. Kept him company, even though he terrified her. _Let him touch her, even if he was a monster._

Oh, how that last thought made his SOUL shiver. _She was so lovely_. A delicate little thing, so very soft under his phalanges. He hadn’t felt **_anything_ ** in so long that the first time she reached out to him, the first time her fingers brushed against his body he _screamed_. It was a gentle touch, but awakening from the numbness of the void it was effectively sensory overload, overwhelming his already fragile mind. 

(He would later come to find out he _hurt_ her with just his voice, in a similar vein but a more destructive form of sensory overload. He swore he would never do that again, not to her, never, _never._ )

(He wasn’t INTEGRITY. He would hurt her, _of course he would._ )

Once he had recovered from that intense experience, he was hooked. _Addicted_. He wanted it again, and _again_. He even followed her _into his brother’s room_. The human Frisk was there yet he didn’t even notice at the time. All he had eyes for was _her_. Such a thoughtless risk, but he couldn’t help himself.

(She was always so cute when she slept, he foolishly almost told her so just yesterday. (Was it yesterday? Time was still a concept he needed to get reacquainted with.) He knew he shouldn’t watch her when she was so vulnerable and unable to tell him off. He avoided it as much as he could, even when she screamed herself awake he did not enter her room. (That one time she was changing was an _accident_ , completely _unintentional_ , he was _distracted._ ) It was _wrong_ , he shouldn’t watch her like that. _Like a creep_.)

(He wasn’t INTEGRITY, he never would be. He watched her anyway.)

Her eyes were wide open that night. Such beautiful eyes, lovely and blue. Brilliant sapphires like her SOUL. Open so wide and so _scared_ , and he shouldn’t touch her, _he shouldn’t_ , but he couldn’t help himself. And she didn’t move, frozen in place, watching him with those frightened, beautiful eyes as he reached out, indulging in that one feather-light stroke of her cheek.

Her skin was the softest thing he could ever remember touching.

He touched her again to wake her up the next night, just because he could.

He could feel her warmth that time.

It was _intoxicating._

He never stopped after that. He could always feel her, the numbness never once returned when it was _her_ under his fingertips. And lovely little thing she was, his star, _she let him touch her_. Let him tuck his fingers under her chin, let him run his phalanges over her arm, let him grab at her wrist where he could feel her tantalizing pulse beating against his grip. 

And then she started touching _him_.

He was admittedly wary considering how her first attempt had gone, but when her fingers reached out towards him and he felt those delicate digits skimming over his fractured skull his SOUL trembled within him. She had no idea the effect she had on him, or would continue to have on him when she later reached out to hold his hand.

(She did that on her own, marvelous thing she was.)

... _She showed him the rain_. At her insistence he was dragged out onto that balcony where he experienced for the first time, however muted it was, a rainstorm. And when it was over she would look up at him, with an open, pure smile. 

He could have pinned that as the moment he’d fallen for her, or perhaps when she finally let him into her room that same night, to comfort her as she had yet another nightmare. He mimicked her mannerism when she was anxious, running his phalanges through her hair, those silk tresses an indulgent caress against his bones. How could he resist wanting her?

Or perhaps it was back when she took it upon herself to try and free him. An impossible task, the probability of him fully escaping the void was _infinitesimal_. Yet she compiled data in some effort of teasing out a trend, something she could use to help him, something to get a foothold on the arduous self-assigned pursuit. How amusingly _determined_ she was. Always asking questions, curious for answers he wished she would not so exhaustively seek. Or maybe it was her independence that won him over, how hard she worked for it? So young and new to the world yet she had already started down her own self-made path. She reminded him of himself when he had been her age. (Was it his second doctorate he had been working on back then?)

(He had been twenty-seven when he fell. Over a decade had passed in reality since then, so what did that make him now? Thirty-seven? Thirty-eight? Too old for her? Yet time didn’t pass in the void, so did it count if his body never aged?)

(What did it matter, his body was ruined the moment he fell.)

Whatever it was, whichever point in time caused the revelation to happen scarcely mattered. Every day he poured more of his essence into reality in an effort to be closer to her. And every day she greeted him with a smile, no matter how tired she was, dutifully checking his condition to expand her datasets, his escape seemingly always on the fore of her thoughts. 

But of course, all good things came to an end. She finally asked him _what happened?_

What could he say? How could he tell her what he had done and not have her hate him for it?

He took the cowardly way out.

He refused to tell her anything at all.

(Would Sans tell her? To get back at him for what he’d done?)

She was understandably upset, he had been anticipating that. What he hadn’t anticipated was how _panicked_ he was at the thought of losing her anyways, and so when she stormed off he blindly followed. Like a complete _fool._

(The sight of bare skin was something he would remember forever, and much to his shame, he did recall it too often.)

She told him to leave, and he did. Stayed away from her as much as he was able. It was such an uncomfortable limbo he occupied, that indefinitely small separation of dimensions, sandwiched between planes of existence and teetering on the tightrope would occasionally result in slipping back into the void or reality (thankfully she hadn’t noticed him on those latter occasions).

And then that _scum_ showed up. 

**_H e h u r t h e r._ **

Gaster would have blasted that wretched _thing_ , incinerated its disgusting orange SOUL into a thousand pieces with his Blasters had he been able to do so. Yet he had been all but useless in protecting her. The best he could manage was to offer up his body as a shield against the human.

And in the end, _she_ saved _him._

(Her SOUL was so powerful, so arrestingly _beautiful_ when her magic awoke.)

He had limped back to the void when he caught sight of Sans and Papyrus’s magic, trusting his brothers to do what he could not. The wounds he had suffered ached and he _welcomed it_. The hurt was so much better than the numbness. He had failed her, and the image of that _beast_ grabbing his star by her throat, the red of her blood contrasting against her pale skin, that would haunt him.

And yet, for all he’d done, and despite all the ways he had failed her, she called out to him.

_...and she said she was sorry._

(He hated seeing her cry.)

( _He didn’t deserve her._ )

The next day she asked him to stay, and _stars above_ , she had intertwined her fingers with his as she asked. Her hand was so small, _she_ was so small, but somehow they fit together. (He lamented he had lost his arms in the _incident_ , what he wouldn’t give to just simply hold her.) 

He felt HOPE for the first time in a long time.

Regrettably, in seeking to keep her appeased, he had agreed to meet again the human Frisk and the monster Flowey, for some gathering he hadn’t inquired all the details about. Had it been in his control, not another soul would have ever learned of his existence (save for Alex, of course). Everyone had forgotten him, (save for Sans, unfortunately) the current continuity of reality relied on his existence being forgotten. He wouldn’t risk his discovery, too many questions would be raised, too many discoveries to be made that would trace back to the _incident_.

Too late now. He felt he was again postponing an inevitable fate.

He hadn’t been carefully watching her as she prepared, exceeding her usual amount of time spent readying her appearance in the bathroom. She had another nightmare the night prior, having been dead to the world one second, and thrashing limbs the next. It worried him, and he had acquired her laptop to do some research on the subject of human night terrors while she was indisposed. Thankfully, he had little issue utilizing technology these days, only occasionally did his presence bring about a hiss of static from their speakers. 

She cursed from the kitchen, and unthinkingly he set the laptop aside to see what reckless self-inflicted wound she had acquired this time when he properly observed her.

She was wearing a dress, her bare back turned to him, revealing _so much of her skin._

_She was glorious._

Which brought him back to _dread_.

He knew Alex was pretty in the same way he knew the sky was blue when he was Underground. It was an objective observation, her fine and delicate features, her eyes, those freckles like constellations strewn across her pale skin. He had of course seen an appreciable look at her petite figure when he barged in on her while she was changing (Imbecile that he was, a wonder she ever forgave him for that) but it hadn’t quite clicked into place.

Until he saw her in _that dress_.

It was like seeing with his own eyes the sky was indeed a ceaseless, awe-inducing, wild expanse of azure blue.

_That_ was when he was overcome with _dread_. 

(And tripped over the coffee table but that was inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.)

He was in _love_. He wanted her, so completely he _wanted her._ _All_ of her.

(Vaguely he was realizing he was growing obsessive over her, much in the same way his last obsession had claimed his thoughts. That had ended _disastrously_. That had ended with him in the void.) 

_(He couldn’t **s t o p**.) _

And it was quite the predicament, because she could never want him.

Never mind the insurmountable problem of his partially incorporeal state. Never mind the differences in their species. It was his misdeeds that would inevitably end whatever growing affection she held for him.

He promised to tell her what he’d done, and he had no doubt INTEGRITY would hold him to it. He would have done anything she requested of him, told her right then all his crimes if she so much as asked. But she let him postpone his confession, because she was lovely and he _loved her, stars how he loved her for that._

But once she knew, once she understood that he was not a good monster, she would make him leave again. He had done terrible things. Horrors to those closest to him.

Most despicably was what he had done to Sans.

(His brother would never forgive him.)

(...and she wouldn’t either.)

**_Dread._ **

He had to excuse himself retreat to that uncomfortable in-between place, in the layers between reality and his segment of the void. He was incapable of having a panic attack but had he a physical body he was sure that was _exactly_ what would be happening. 

He couldn’t lose her.

He couldn’t have her.

...

His SOUL hurt.

...

_He liked the pain._

...

She was calling him now. He had to collect himself, make himself more composed. 

He exited the in-between and materialized in the familiar hallway, gliding towards her SOUL that he could always locate, towards his guiding star. There, on her couch was the human Frisk. Such another bright SOUL, that child. The Anomaly would of course require a significant store of DETERMINATION, and he could not imagine a more perfectly forged SOUL to house that vast well of power. 

It was a frightening prospect merely considering it. 

The child hugged him, just as they had when finding him for a second time beyond the grey door in the Underground. Now, just as it was back then, he was unable to properly respond beyond patting their head in what he hoped was an appropriately reciprocal show of affection. 

The human child stepped away, introducing the--

THE VESSEL.

...

  
  


...

  
  


...

  
  


**_RAGE._ **

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter and opening lyrics are from [The Cave by Mumford and Sons.](https://youtu.be/SeecduxVJdE)
> 
> \---
> 
> A look inside the goop-man’s head. It isn’t pretty. 
> 
> The end of this chapter is vague and might not make the most sense, it will become clear when we go back to Alex’s POV.
> 
> In fact, this whole chapter is probably a pain to read, but Gaster’s thoughts don’t run linearly. 
> 
> Ages of our various characters at this point in time, for those curious:
> 
> Sans - 29  
> Papyrus - 20  
> Undyne - 24  
> Alphys - 27  
> Frisk - 10 (not accounting for RESETs)  
> Flowey - 12 (also not accounting for RESETs and time between his reincarnation)  
> Alex - 20 (her birthday is in a week!)  
> Gaster - Technically, 38 years have passed from the moment he was born. However, since he fell into the void at age 27 it is debatable how old he actually is. He was conscious all the while, so his mind has experienced a longer amount of time, but just how much is unclear. (Probably still violating the half plus seven rule.)
> 
> Please leave a comment or hit up my [Tumblr](http://fallingstarstuff.tumblr.com/) with your thoughts, hopes, and dreams, or to check out the visuals I’ve added to go along with each chapter. 
> 
> Stay safe, and be good kiddos!
> 
> The story continues in [Chapter 14](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580004/chapters/59080720) of From The Mouth of an Injured Head.


	2. This Is The Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is meant to be read before or after [Chapter 25](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580004/chapters/61162075) of [From the Mouth of an Injured Head.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580004/chapters/56575579)

  
  


_We always start with good intentions_

_But lose ourselves along the way_

  
  


* * *

  
  


Sans always knew his brother was an egotistical asshat.

He supposed some of it had to come with the territory; Eldest brother, golden child, good looks, good manners, good grades. Perfect storm for producing a massive prick of a skeleton.

Sans _loved_ to piss him off growing up.

Besides being amusing, it also felt justified. The comparisons to his brother made by their parents never stopped. All the ways he didn’t measure up were relentlessly pointed out; He wasn’t as studious, he wasn’t as ambitious, he wasn’t as mannerly (his particular brand of charisma relied on pranks and constant attempts to get a laugh). His parents weren’t bad people. They wanted the best for him. They loved him, he knew that.

...He just knew they loved Wingdings more.

So any chance to take his brother down a peg was eagerly seized.

Luckily, some things just came easy to Sans, which worked out perfect for him, in that, he didn’t have to work. ‘Easy’ was how he wished everything was. 

Magic just so happened to be one of those things.

  
  


[Are you paying attention?] Wingdings asked, staring coolly down at him with his ring-shaped eyelights. They were in his brother’s room, a place Sans was normally not allowed to enter. The walls were barely visible; bookshelves, detailed schematics, shelving with rows of organized electrical components, and workbenches covered in half-built (or half-disassembled) machinery lined nearly every square inch of the place.

“yeah.” Sans lied, snapping his gaze away from a whirring gizmo on the workbench and up to ‘Dings. Sans was seated on his brother’s bed, his hands tucked under his femurs at said brother’s request so he wouldn’t be tempted to touch anything.

[I won’t show you if you are only going to get distracted by some shiny object in your periphery.] ‘Ding said with a scowl. 

“i’m watching!” he insisted, his perma-grin falling to match his brother’s expression, “just show me your special attack already.” He’d been working on it for _ages_ , and for some reason he decided Sans would be the first one to see it. Maybe so he could show off. There wasn’t any magic ‘Dings could do that Sans couldn’t also perform, despite being nine years his junior. (Except healing magic, but he’d get the hang of it one of these days.)

[Fine.] ‘Dings lifted his hand, then hesitated a moment, [Don’t tell mother.] he added, and Sans nodded solemnly. They weren’t supposed to use magic in the house after the gelatin incident. Sans felt his brother’s magic stir, his left eye socket glowing with violet light, his brow furrowing and beading with purple sweat.

The magic took shape, solidifying into a gigantic white form that hovered in the center of the room. It was a huge skull, reminiscent of some sort of predator, the dark sockets glowing with powerful magic. The maw of the skull opened, dagger-like teeth revealed, the lower jawbones splitting and parting as energy and light gathered within. Sans could feel it in his marrow that vibrating power just ready to be unleashed-

‘Dings magic dissipated before he could blast a hole through his bedroom wall, the skull dissolving into a shower of sparks before fizzling out entirely. His brother was panting, wiping his metacarpals over his skull. [Well?] he said with a smirk.

“that is... SO COOL!” Sans yelled, jumping up to stand on the bed, hands balled into fists. ‘Dings chuckled, it was pretty rare Sans ever spoke in capitals. “i want to try.”

[I doubt you would be capable of it, that is the most complicated magic I have seen to date, the resonances must be tuned very carefully or else the magic will cause destructive interference and the whole construct will collapse-] 

Sans’s eye socket lit with flashing yellow and blue light, and a second skull nearly identical to the first sprang into being.

‘Dings jaw dropped, his eyelights dim. [H-How--You--It took _months_ of practice to summon my first Gaster Blaster, how did you do that!?] 

Sans snickered at his pompous brother’s indigent sputtering, “‘gaster blaster’, seriously?”

[...You’re going to bed.] ‘Dings said irritably, grabbing his little brother by the humerus and dragging him out of the room.

“what? but it's only 8 o’ clock! mom said i could stay up till nine!” Sans protested, digging his heels in. ‘Dings effortlessly continued to drag him down the halfway and into his own room. 

[And she left me in charge while they’re out, so when I say you’re going to bed, you’re going to bed.] 

Sans kept squirming futilely until ‘Dings just picked him up and tossed him onto the pile of pillows that dominated his bed, the soft cushions all but swallowing up the small skeleton. He popped his head up from the pile, glaring at his brother who had his arms crossed and a stern look on his skull. 

“you have to tell me a story first.” Sans demanded.

[You’re too old for bedtime stories. You’re going to be a big brother soon, you should have grown out of this. Go to sleep.] 

“just this last one!” he bargained, “you can tell me about the mages, that’s your favorite.”

[That is too frightening a tale before bed-]

“i’m a big kid, you just said so!” Sans countered, and ‘Dings rolled his eyelights a sighed in perfect exasperation that only a teenager could manage. Relenting he pulled out a chair from Sans’s desk, the tall, gangly skeleton looking comically large as he sat upon it.

[This is the last time. And if you have nightmares don’t come crying to me, I have important research that cannot be interrupted.] 

Despite his grumbling, ‘Dings took a moment to gather his thoughts and took on the proper cadence of a storyteller.

[Long ago, two races ruled over the Surface; Monsters and Humans. Monsters ruled with Hope, Compassion, and Love while humans ruled with fear and hate. They were afraid of monsters, and they so loved to destroy that which they feared. War broke out.]

[The monsters were led by the King and Queen who bravely took to the battlefield with their army of soldiers. Great warriors had assembled under the Deltarune banner-]

“like gerson?” Sans interrupted.

[Yes, like Gerson, he’s the one who told me this story. Now shush, or else I won’t finish it.] he paused, making sure Sans was going to stay quiet before he continued. 

[Great warriors with powerful magic stood to fight the humans, but the humans had brought their greatest fighters too; the Seven Mages.]

[All living beings are capable of magic, but only exceptionally rare humans who were powerful and skilled enough could earn the title ‘Mage’. The rarest of all is the Red Mage, the most formidable and devastating warriors known to man and monster alike. When the monsters stared down their enemy, they were met with the most improbable sight of seven mages, each with their own uniquely powerful magic, working in tandem and led by the Red.]

[Their commander conjured a spear of Red Magic, and any foe before them was struck down with a single unstoppable blow. You see Red Magic, fed by pure killing intent, will never fail to turn a monster to dust.]

[Not a single human died in the battle, but scores of monsters were killed. With no other choice the King and Queen surrendered. Monsters were forced into the Underground and the Seven sealed us away by creating the barrier.]

[Many years later, the King would lose his two children to humans, and he would declare another war. He took the SOULs of the five fallen humans and one day he will take two more. And when he has collected the required SOULs, he will reverse the magic of the Seven Mages, and we shall all be free, and live on the Surface again.]

“do you think i can learn red magic?” Sans asked after a few quiet moments passed.

[No, I don’t believe any monster is capable of it. You would have to want to kill.]

“but asgore kills the humans that fall.” Sans objected.

[He does not want to. He does it because he must to set us free.]

‘Dings frowned as if pondering something distressing. 

[...Sans, if you ever come across a human, you are to run, do you understand?]

“why can’t i just use a gaster blaster on them? it will go all ‘BZZZZZRT!’ ‘WHOOOSH!’ and then i can bring their SOUL to asgore and-”

[No,] ‘Dings sternly interrupted Sans’s sound-effect laden reenactment, [Humans are dangerous. Especially to you. No matter how strong your magic is, you must never get into an Encounter, I always want you to run. Okay?]

“...yeah.” Sans replied glumly, having heard this warning a hundred times before from his parents. 

He only had 1 HP. Getting into an Encounter, even with another monster, could be lethal.

With a satisfied nod, his brother rose from the chair, wandering over to the door, phalanges resting on the light switch. [Good night, Sans.]

“g’night ‘dings.”

  
  
  


The next day, just to see the look on his face, Sans showed his brother he could manage to summon _two_ Gaster Blasters at once.

* * *

Teleporting was not a skill that came easily.

Sans never bothered with a special attack, considering he never planned on fighting. Instead he’d found...well, he didn’t think he could describe it right. Something else, something Beyond. Someplace that was very dark, very cold, and very big. Infinitely big. So big it was everywhere, at all times, just under the surface of reality.

And if he stepped through that place, and then stepped back out...

A shortcut. To anywhere. Well, anywhere in the Underground. The barrier still extended even through that Beyond place.

The tricky bit was learning where to step out, if you didn’t get it right, you could end up with a bedpost through your tibia.

That had been an unpleasant experience.

But like any lazy skeleton worth his salt, he’d mastered the shortcuts in the quest for pinnacle laziness; never walking anywhere.

Which was how he managed to leave his house in New Home and ended up crunching his shoes through snow-covered paths of Snowdin a second later. Moseying through the sleepy town, late at night, he found himself standing outside the warm, inviting glow of Grillby’s. The wafting scents of grease and smoke practically begged him to go inside, but instead he walked around the back of the restaurant where a lanky skeleton was leaning precariously against the building, speaking to a nearly equally lanky busboy composed entirely of fire. 

They hadn’t spotted him yet. Being small had its advantages sometimes.

[This isn’t feasible. How can I be expected to work in the lab, finish my degree and take care of two children!? I’m going to have to stop my research, I was _so_ close to getting the King to review my proposal. By the time I complete my dissertation I’m certain those _imbeciles_ will have shattered one of the SOULs. To think being a Royal Scientist used to be a title of prestige, now they will give the position to anyone who hobbles together two circuit boards and calls it a staggering advancement in science!] ‘Dings slurred, signing half his words in exaggerated motions. There was a cigarette precariously pinched between his phalanges that he took a long drag from.

“You already have your doctorate, do you need two?” Grillby said quietly, the softly crackling speech of the elemental barely heard by Sans.

[Yes!] Gaster snapped, purple smoke curling out from between his teeth, [I can’t appear less educated than my predecessor, I just explained prestige, were you listening?]

“You’re only nineteen.”

[That is precisely my point, if I am to become Royal Scientist, I must be someone _credible_ , that means having the credentials to back it up.]

“Then wait. Let Papyrus get a little older.”

[ _I can’t_ , we are running out of time. We have six SOULs now, and soon enough there will be a seventh.]

Grillby was characteristically silent, but with an unmistakable air of confusion.

[What do you think will happen after? The Barrier is destroyed and then what? We won’t have any SOULs left and we will be vulnerable. Humans are vile, violent creatures. They trapped us here once, I have no doubt they will simply imprison us again, if not outright slaughter us on the Surface. We need a method to defend ourselves, and the answer lies in those SOULs. If _I_ am in command then we will find that answer, not in the hands of those _fools_.] he spat, glaring with unfocused eyelights at nothing in particular.

“...What about Sans?”

[What do you mean?]

“Have him watch Papyrus.”

[He is ten. A child who cannot manage to pick up his own socks, you expect me to leave a babybones in his care?]

Grillby shrugged, unflappable in the wake of ‘Ding’s drunken vehemence. The skeleton’s anger quickly fizzled out, turning rapidly towards lamenting.

[Why couldn’t they last one more week? Just one more? I’m certain if they knew we’d collected another SOUL, they would have stayed...]

“Two hundred years is a long time for a skeleton.”

[Says the fire elemental. And father didn’t even make it to his second century.]

“...Was it Papyrus?” There was a pause, the only sound the slight crackling of Grillby’s fire and errant breezes through pine needles. ‘Dings snuffed out his cigarette. 

[...Yes. I believe so. Too much of a drain on their SOULs.] 

“...”

[Don’t give me that look. I don’t blame him, he never asked to be born. If anything that makes this all the more important. My parents wanted their sons to see the Surface, and I will make certain we all will.]

Sans couldn’t recall his brother ever speaking with such conviction, his speech lined with purpose, even through the alcohol’s haze. He always talked (or signed) like he expected everyone to listen to whatever he had to say, but this...

...There was a chilling promise in those worlds, colder than the frigid landscape.

Grillby’s bespectacled gaze shifted, looking past his sloshed companion, right at Sans. ‘Dings was slower on the uptake, turning around and nearly tripping over his own long legs.

[Sans, how?--Why are you here?] 

Sans shrugged at his brother, “bivala said she had an emergency and had to leave. i figured i should come get you.”

‘Ding’s eye sockets went wide with worry, [Where is Papyrus?]

“in his crib, sleeping. i took him home, read him a story and put him to bed.” he said, puffing out his chest. ‘Dings blinked incredulously.

[How did you get here?]

“i took a shortcut.” he said, grin widening just a bit.

‘Dings scowled darkly. [I told you to stop playing games.]

“i’m not!” Sans retorted.

[Did you get the River Person to ferry you here? You couldn’t have walked-]

“i took a shortcut!” he yelled, stamping his foot. “here, i can show you.” Sans reached forward, grabbing his brother by the wrist, and ‘Dings reluctantly followed in stumbling steps. 

[Put the drinks on my tab.] he grumbled towards Grillby, giving his closest, and only, friend a wave goodbye. Grillby nodded, heading back inside to his father’s bar.

Sans stalked off towards the forest, walking his brother towards the treeline, but instead of barreling through the trunks he stepped into the Beyond--

\--into the black--

\--then back out, landing in the kitchen of their family home at the capital.

‘Dings immediately ran to the kitchen sink, vomiting purple sticky magic all over the dirty dishes piled up there. His bones were quaking, rattling noises sounding off under his clothes as he retched.

[What was _that!?_ ] ‘Dings demanded after he rinsed his skull with water, washing away the residual magic. 

“a shortcut.” Sans supplied with a shrug. 

His brother stared at him strangely then. Like he was seeing him for the first time. Something about it made a cold feeling creep up his spine. 

Whatever it was passed, and he pushed away from the sink, walking closer to his little brother. He lowered himself to that they were almost level with one another, his large hands holding Sans’s small shoulders. [Thank you for taking care of Papyrus and for coming to get me, that was very prudent of you.]

Sans looked at the floor, scuffing it with his shoe, feeling uncomfortable. He wasn’t used to praise, especially from his brother. “just ‘cause i don’t pick up my socks doesn’t mean i can’t look after pap. i’m not some stupid kid ya know.” he grumbled.

[I know. Apparently you can do a better job than a hired babysitter...] ‘Dings face flashed with ire before he glanced back at Sans. There never was a babysitter before now. There had never been a need. The brothers met each other’s eyelights, a shared sorrow that had been lingering there plain to see. It had been less than a month since they had scattered their parents' dust.

“did you mean what you said about freeing all the monsters?”

[Yes.]

“then why can’t i watch pap while you keep working?”

[You still have school-]

“i can be homeschooled like you were!” Sans eagerly offered.

[You never dedicate yourself to your studies, how can I trust you to pursue your education unsupervised-] Sans interrupted again.

“it’s for papyrus. i can do it if it’s for him. i can watch him while i study, and you can work in the lab and study too. then you free all the monsters and we can all live together on the surface.”

[...You promise?] ‘Dings asked, his tone serious.

“yeah, if you promise to set us free.” 

His brother smiled, squeezing his shoulders. [I promise.]

* * *

Sans excelled when left to his own devices. Homework and quizzes that he found pointless and menial before were replaced with research that he found deeply interesting and captured his attention. ‘Dings’s old books became his, many countless afternoons spent cradling Papyrus in one arm and holding open a textbook in the other. (He was also very thankful he’d discovered Blue Magic, being able to grab his baby brother from across the hall before he could take a tumble down the stairs saved his coccyx more times than he cared to admit.)

He learned that the Beyond place had a name; the void. 

Years later he later figured out there were sixteen of them, and published his findings. 

That was his master’s thesis, and what earned him his place in the lab.

‘Dings was named Royal Scientist two years after they made their promises. He was overseeing construction of the CORE, a dizzying machine that took the better part of a decade to complete. By the time Sans accepted his position working for his brother he’d already had a hand in building a great many of the components that went into the final construction, and he was the only one trusted to view the complete set of blueprints, printed in wingdings, of course.

The CORE was the work of a true genius, not that his brother’s ego needed to hear that, at risk of further inflation. The sprawling maze of magic and technology was highly modular, and exceedingly efficient. By Sans’s math, it could have supplied enough magical energy to power a thousand Undergrounds, if not more. On paper, that was all it should have been doing, but Sans knew better.

The Royal Scientist needed that power to break the barrier. 

Sans walked down the pristine halls of the lab, his white coat trailing after him. He’d been meaning to get it adjusted so it wouldn’t drag on the floor, but, eh, later. He had other things to worry about.

“hey bro.” Sans greeted, knocking on the Royal Scientist’s open door. ‘Dings office was a beautiful disaster of organized chaos, blueprints rolled tightly held in one set of disembodied skeletal hands, another collecting reams of paper spat out by an old dot-matrix printer, and yet another holding onto an empty coffee cup, seemingly forgotten and hovering in mid-air. Sans lifted up the carafe full of the caffeinated black liquid, pouring it into the cup. The monster himself was bent over a cluttered desk, writing out a note in a rapid scrawl. He noticed Sans after a moment, eyelights snapping over to him, dark circles prominent under his sockets.

[Oh, Sans, thank the stars. Professor Felix called in and my intern is supposed to be briefed on start-up procedures and troubleshooting processes for subsection B the CORE, would you mind terribly?...] 

“sure thing. that yellow girl, right?”

[Miss Alphys, yes.] He raised the mug to his mouth, sighing after taking a long swig.

“you know she has a crush on you, right?” ‘Dings nearly choked on his coffee, quite a challenge for a lung-less skeleton.

[I beg your pardon?]

“yeah, she keeps sighing every time you walk by, you never noticed?” 

[...You’re screwing with me again.] ‘Dings said, eye sockets narrowing. Too bad for him Sans’s poker face was pretty damn near perfect.

“c’mon bro, would i ever do that to you?”

[Yes. Repeatedly. At any given opportunity.] ‘Dings said, ripping off the sheets of printer paper and walking out of his office, Sans trailing after him down the hall. [Regardless, I expect everyone in the lab to conduct themselves with proper decorum, romantic inclinations aside.]

“so you’re saying i shouldn’t encourage her?” ‘Dings side-eyed him, Sans’s grin was definitely shit-eating now. 

[Sans,] ‘Dings said warningly, [Might I remind you we are activating the CORE in a week’s time and the King will be present. Seven years worth of work will be culminating very shortly and I need every member of this team fully prepared.] 

Sans sighed, his grin slacking slightly as the pair rounded a corner. Always the killjoy his brother was. “yeah, just tryin’ to get you to loosen up a bit. you’ve been wound up pretty tight of late, pap asked about it the other night. when’s the last time you even came back home to eat a real meal?”

[...I’ll be home tonight.] ‘Dings said after a pause. 

Sans had heard that line too many times before.

“sure, ‘dings.” His brother glared at him in reprimand, and he had to desperately fight the urge to roll his eyelights. “doctor gaster.” he corrected.

* * *

His brother wasn’t home. Sans cooked dinner, feeding himself and Papyrus who insisted on wearing a bedsheet tied around his neck in a cape all evening (some toy he’d fished out of the dump and gifted Pap inspired the costume). He still wasn’t home after his baby brother ran what had to be a hundred “flying” loops around the house and all but passed out after, Sans carefully carrying him upstairs on his back and tucking him into bed. 

“IS WINGDINGS COMING BACK?” Papyrus asked just before Sans managed to flick off the lights, his little brother’s voice stopping him in his tracks. 

“of course he is, he’s just workin’ real hard right now.” Sans said, his grin feeling particularly brittle.

“IS HE GOING TO FALL DOWN?” 

Sans nearly choked on nothing, his skull whipping towards Papyrus who was staring at him with wide, worried eye sockets.

“no, ‘course not, where’d you get that idea?”

“I DON’T SEE HIM MUCH ANYMORE. AND WHEN I DO HE ALWAYS LOOKS TIRED AND SAD. WHEN MONSTERS FALL DOWN IT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE TIRED AND SAD. I DON’T WANT WINGDINGS TO LEAVE US LIKE MOM AND DAD DID.”

Sans blinked at his little brother, his ribcage feeling tight. Papyrus, the sweetest monster in the whole Underground, should never, _ever_ have to worry about losing another part of his family. Certainly not someone he was old enough to remember.

“no, he isn’t fallin’ down, i promise. he’s helping bring power to the whole underground, it’s a big job and it keeps him busy. that’s why i have to help him. don’t worry about ‘dings, ok?” Sans said in the most reassuring voice he could manage with the anger that churned inside his SOUL.

“OKAY.” Papyrus replied with a yawn.

“sleep tight, pap.”

“GOOD NIGHT, SANS.”

He shut the door to the bedroom, eye sockets narrowing as he stepped into the void--

\--and out into the lab, striding down towards ‘Dings office.

It was dark.

Huh. Where else would he be? Sans wandered a bit, the lab taking on a weird vibe once it was completely empty and the lights dimmed. He couldn’t find his brother anywhere, and after a moment realized there was one place he hadn’t looked.

One elevator he had been forbidden to enter now lay before him with sealed doors. He swiped his card key against a panel beside them, the blinking light flashing a dismissive red. Well, it was worth a shot. With a shrug he teleported beyond the doors and pressed the button to lower him down to the bottom level.

The lights were even dimmer down here, this section of the lab nearly completely dark. Shifting lights did catch his eye, and he temporarily abandoned his quest for ‘Dings, distracted by a mesmerizing rainbow trapped behind glass.

Six SOULs hovered in specialized canisters, glowing gently like the luminescent plants of Waterfall. It was almost as if they were asleep. Justice, Patience, Kindness, Bravery, Persistence and INTEGRITY, the most powerful and valuable SOULs in all the Underground, the keys to their freedom.

Something caught his eye in the back, behind the six containers. There was a seventh there that should have been empty, but instead...

...a shard of crimson red, a fractured remnant of a SOUL.

“that’s impossible.” Sans breathed, eye sockets wide.

[One would think.] ‘Dings intoned right next to him. Sans squawked, jumping back from where his brother had seemingly materialized at his side. 

“stars, ‘dings, you _scared me out of my skin!_ ” Sans paused, and his wet blanket of a brother didn’t laugh. Eh, he must have used that one before, “did 'ja learn how to use shortcuts too?”

[Now there’s a joke. You were merely distracted, again.] his eyelights drifted back to the SOUL shard. The dancing red light made his brother’s face look especially gaunt. Was it a trick of the light, or were those dark circles under his eyes getting darker?

“how’s it still stable? it should have shattered completely.” Sans noted. 

[There is a SOUL trait that seems to exist in trace amounts in every SOUL I have studied. Even my own. Human SOULs consistently have it in larger concentrations than monsters SOULs. You know that fish girl, the one who frequently accompanies Asgore?]

“undyne?”

[Yes. I took a reading on her SOUL, she had more of that trait than any other monster I have ever examined. Nearly as much as some of the human SOULs.]

‘Dings tapped one long phalange against the glass housing the SOUL shard. [This one specimen has nearly ten thousand times that amount.]

Sans whistled a long low note.

[Indeed. I believe it keeps the human SOULs stable enough to persist outside the body. But in such extreme concentrations, I theorize it has prevented this SOUL from dissolving completely.]

“where’d you find it? There haven’t been any new humans.”

[...That is inconsequential. I thought I told you to stay off this level.] ‘Dings said, shifting the conversation.

“you act like locked doors ever kept me out of places.” Sans said with a shrug. 

[I would hope that my orders would keep you out. Or did it escape your attention that I am your supervisor?]

“you gonna ground me?” 

[When it comes to employment, the term you are looking for is “termination”. Or perhaps “fired” is a more suitable colloquialism for you?]

“how will you pay the rent without my paycheck, bro? you want our family out on the street?”

[We _own_ the house you insolent little-] ‘Dings pinched his nasal bone with a frustrated growl, [Sans, I forbid you from this level. If you enter it again, I will write you up.]

“harsh.”

[Yes. Now, why are you here?]

“to give you a lift, you’re comin’ home. unless you want to explain to our baby bro why you’re never around. he thinks you’re about to fall down.”

_That_ made a stricken expression cross his skull. [Why on earth would he ever think that?]

“you could ask him yourself, if you bothered to show up.” Sans said, his voice taking on a colder edge. 

[I suppose I could spare an hour for breakfast tomorrow morning.] 

“or you could come home now, and actually sleep in your own bed for once.”

[There is too much work to do-] Sans grabbed his brother by the arm and teleported him back to the capital, back inside the familiar walls of the home they grew up in.

Gaster wrenched his arm away from Sans, glaring down at him, hints of enraged violet magic dancing in his eye socket.

“you’re welcome.” Sans said, meeting his brother’s glare with a flat look. ‘Dings could never intimidate him. Lord over him, sure, but they both knew that if push came to shove, Sans would always be the stronger of the two. “‘night dings, get some sleep.” he said with a lazy wave, turning to ascend the stairs to his bedroom.

[Sans, wait.] Wingdings said, his voice strangely imploring. Sans halted and glanced over his shoulder, eyelights darting back to his brother. [...I have a new avenue of research I’d like to investigate in breaking the barrier. One that will need your assistance.]

“‘new’? what happened to the old plan? i thought the CORE was gonna bust the barrier?” Sans said, arching a brow bone.

[...It can’t.] ‘Dings said solemnly. [It won’t work.]

Sans turned fully towards his brother. Wingdings shoulders hunched over, the lights in his sockets dim, exhaustion weighing down every bone in his body. Looking at him now, here in this familiar place yet looking nearly a stranger, he could see him as Papyrus did and, _shit_ , he did look like he could Fall Down.

“but all that work...you said...”

[I know what I said. I know what I promised. I just completed another preliminary test and it failed. It seems pure magical energy, even in massive quantities, will not harm the barrier. It is SOUL magic alone that can destroy it. There is a solution to be found, I am not giving up. It just may take some more time...] ‘Dings eyelights drifted to the ground, his phalanges scratching the back of his skull.

For the first time Sans could ever recall, he was seeing what his brother’s failure looked like.

It didn’t feel as good as he thought it would have.

“yeah, ‘dings, i can help ya. let’s call it a night for now, you look like _death._ ”

His wet blanket of a brother managed the tiniest smirk.

* * *

When the CORE had come online with great fanfare from the general population, its creator skipped the celebrations in lieu of spending a night with Grillby. Sans didn’t think he’d ever seen his brother so shitfaced before. 

After recovering from that massive hangover, ‘Dings had gotten back to work in devising new machines to specifically analyze Sans’s magic. The Royal Scientist had a penchant for inventing something new every other week that was only tangentially related to his chosen projects; SOUL scanners, magic readers, magic extractors, the list went on and on. There had to be room-fulls of prototypes in the basement of the lab. Revisiting and repurposing some of his older work made it so that the skeleton scientists were able to rapidly acquire the data ‘Dings needed.

The research ‘Dings had in mind turned out to be his teleportation magic, of all things. 

He wasn’t sure if his brother had a specific plan or if he was just spitballing to see what would stick, but he humored him anyways.

[We have six human SOULs, enough magic to incinerate the entire Underground, and two very clever skeletons at our disposal. Every problem has a solution, we just need to discover it.] ‘Dings had insisted. 

“so what, you’re gonna ‘port us all outside the barrier?” Sans asked.

[One possibility, however I feel that is not a feasible scenario. You said the magic of the barrier extends through the void, yes?] 

Sans nodded. “it's like we’re in our own little bubble in space-time down here.”

‘Dings went still, seemingly pondering that with great consideration. [Interesting. Would you suppose modifications to space-time that occurred Underground would influence the Surface?]

“‘modifications’? ‘dings, you can’t modify shit, it’s all hard-coded.”

[Certainly it is currently, but hypothetically speaking, if one had a sufficient energy source-]

“no,” Sans cut ‘Dings off, “that you don’t want to mess with. i’ve run the numbers and the picture they paint ain’t pretty. trust me ‘dings, that’s not a prospect worth your time.”

His brother didn’t respond, tapping his phalange against his chin with a quiet ‘tap, tap, tap.’

“you want help analyzing this data?” Sans offered after too long a time had passed, startling ‘Dings out of his thoughts.

[What? Oh, yes, of course.] ‘Dings gave him another one of those weird looks, something like a smile but with something distant in his eyelights, [Thank you, Sans.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter and opening lyrics are from [This Is The Time (Ballast) by Nothing More](https://youtu.be/QHlTMxBzguI)
> 
> \---
> 
> Part 1 of 3 for Sans
> 
> Bivala is Clam Girl. Professor Felix is Gaster Follower 2. I’d love to hear your suggestions for the names of Follower 1 and 3. 💙
> 
> You can check out the visuals I’ve added to go along with each chapter by visiting my [Tumblr](http://fallingstarstuff.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Stay safe, and stay DETERMINED. ❤️


	3. Ballast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings in the end notes.

  
  
  


_When did we become these sinking stones?_

_When did we build this broken home?_

_Holding each other like ransom notes_

_Dropping our hearts to grip our brother's throat_

  
  


* * *

  
  


‘Dings wasn’t coming home again.

In fact, Sans rarely saw his brother at all.

Which, sure, he didn’t mind a lack of condescension in his everyday life (even if his brother seemed to be more amiable of late) but the least that bonehead could do was spend a few hours at home with Papyrus. Instead he practically lived in the lab, sleeping at his desk or in a cot in one of the back rooms, and subsisting off of vending machines chisps, coffee, and cigarettes. 

He kept Sans busy too. After taking as many readings of his magic in as many variations as monsterly possible, and teasing out all the bits of data that could be extrapolated, ‘Dings put Sans in charge of making a machine that could replicate his magic. And on paper that made sense; It was _his_ magic after all, but building things wasn’t exactly his forte. He leaned closer to the theoreticals and equations, while Wingdings usually made practicalities from all those numbers. 

He sighed, dumping blank blueprints on his desk as he sat heavily in his chair to attempt a first pass of a prototype.

“Boo!” a small yellow monster shouted as she jumped out from under his desk, nearly startling him off his rolling chair, strangling off a yelp from leaving him.

“geez, kid, why the fu--fudgsicle are you under my desk?” Sans puffed. The little monster, Lilly he thought he recalled, was a terror, and terrifyingly quiet. She was always sneaking into the lab, found in some place she certainly did not belong. He’d managed to avoid her up until now.

She shrugged, which was impressive for a creature that lacked arms, “Why do you take naps behind the copy machine?”

Shit, how’d she know that?

“s’warm.” he answered lamely, “aren’t you supposed to be at school or something?”

“Nuh uh, we’re on break! Dad said I can come visit the Lab, as long as I behave.”

“by scaring his coworkers.” he replied flatly.

“And I have to hide from the tall skeleton, he’s the boss. Dad says he’s grumpy.”

Sans chuckled, “heh, he’s got that right.” Ok, maybe she wasn’t so bad.

“You’re not the boss skeleton ‘cause you’re short.” Ok, he took that back.

“thanks for that great bit of insight, half-pint. now why don’t you scram before i tell my grumpy brother he’s got an infestation?” he said, eyelights dimming. 

She blew him a raspberry, muttering “Grumpy” before scurrying away, out of sight. He narrowed his eye sockets as she departed, wondering what trouble she would stir up. Eh, not his problem.

His problem was, _ugh_ , this damn prototype. 

He bent over the desk, bringing the pen to paper.

* * *

Sans looked over the revisions to the final copy of his prototype, scratching the back of his skull as he read ‘Ding’s complicated font. 

This was...not what he sent his brother a week ago.

He rolled up the large leaf of paper and walked into ‘Ding’s office, opening the closed door without much forethought.

“hey bro--er--doctor gaster.” he stammered, noting that three other monsters were crammed into his office, poring over a readout on his computer, all eyes (and eyelights) suddenly staring at him, “sorry, didn’t realize you were having a party.”

[What is it, Sans?] ‘Dings asked with a narrowed gaze.

“just, uh, wanted to go over this with you.” Sans wiggled the blueprint in his hand.

<We can continue this discussion tomorrow. The results are looking quite promising. That is all for now.> ‘Dings signed, effectively dismissing the others. Sans stepped aside to let them all out, his eyelights trained on the odd group.

“what was that about?” Sans asked after ‘Dings conjured a hand to close the door behind them. 

[Nothing that would concern you. Now, I’m sure you have questions over the modifications I’ve made.] He said, more conjured hands grabbing the blueprint and unfurling it so that both skeletons could read it over.

“yeah, uh, what happened to the whole teleporting thing? this doesn’t manipulate positional parameters, it changes temporal ones.”

[Correct. Do you see any flaws in this proposed design?] 

“yeah, i told you that fuckin’ with space-time like this, well, it’s a bad time, heh.” he replied, irritably.

[I do not intend to manipulate anything.] ‘Dings said, his back turned to Sans so that he could retrieve a folder from his desk. He set it down on the cluttered wooden surface, opening the folder to reveal Sans’s thesis on the Source Code and the void. [This posits that there are other universes, other timelines out there.] ‘Dings waved his hand about.

“...yeah?”

[I want to see them. Study them. We may find answers there.]

“i suppose that’s possible.” Sans replied, glancing back at the blueprints. There’d be some changes he’d have to make, but it _was_ doable. “you really think it’d help?”

[What harm is there in looking?] ‘Dings said with a careless shrug.

* * *

“i swear that brat needs a leash.” Sans grumbled to himself. He was pretty damn sure he saw that yellow kid nosing around his desk again, and now he couldn’t find his blueprints. It was all fun and games until his work was impaired, and there he drew the line. He’d have to report the underage terror to Wingdings if she kept this up.

Fuck, where were his blueprints?

Half the lab was surrounded in a haze of Blue Magic as he searched everywhere to find what he’d been slaving over for weeks now. He left it here earlier, _where the fuck was it!?_

Room after room was nearly torn apart by his magic. It was late and the lab quiet and empty, no one here to reprimand his semi-destructive search, no one to deter him in his quest. The top floor was scoured and still no hint of it anywhere.

He eyed the elevator that led down to the bottom floor.

Would the half-pint have been able to get in there?

Yeah, she managed to get into every other room of the lab so far.

‘Dings would kill him if he caught Sans back down there.

He’d kill him if he lost those blueprints.

Welp, nothing for it then. Sans teleported into the elevator and pressed the button to send him slowly down into the bowels of the lab. When the doors slid open, he was again a little taken aback by how dim it was down here. Good thing skeletons could see in the dark. He passed by the SOULs this time, digging through cabinets and messy stacks of papers. Still nothing. Shit!

Distant sounds made him halt his quest for a moment, his brow bones furrowing. As he listened closer he heard the scrapes of metal on metal and power tools whirring. Who the hell was down here at this hour? 

He stealthily shuffled down the hall, channeling as much of the half-pint’s sneaking abilities as the young skeleton could muster, peering around the open doorway. ‘Dings was inside a large open room, working on a huge machine that dominated the center of the space. It reminded Sans of a Gaster Blaster and sent an involuntary shiver down his vertebrae. A pedestal was attached to it with thick cables, atop which was perched that canister holding the red SOUL shard. What the hell was his brother doing?

He slunk over to a desk in the corner of the room, eyeing a short stack of papers. More blueprints, and among them was his prototype. He frowned, glancing over the others. One was a schematic for the device before him, something that was a creepy variant of ‘Dings’s magic extractor. A few others were unrecognizable, save for the fact that they were clearly designed to interface with the CORE. But it didn’t take Sans long to deduce how all those puzzle pieces fit together. 

[Have you found something engrossing, brother?] came ‘Dings voice right next to him. Sans didn’t notice how the sounds of the other skeleton’s work had fallen silent, his mind running a mile a minute.

He didn’t answer ‘Dings, instead furiously flipping through the pages. Before he could keep looking, ‘Dings slammed a hand on the stack of papers, pinning them down with one of the hands actually attached to his body, and therefore one that actually meant business.

[I told you to stay off this level.] Gaster said coldly.

“and i told you not to fuck with this shit. have you completely lost it!?”

[Hardly. I said I would find a solution, and so I have.]

“you said you were just looking, you said you wouldn’t manipulate anything! you lied to me, right to my face!”

Gaster tilted his head, [And what does it appear I am manipulating?] he asked coolly with gleaming eyelights.

“the source code!”

A beat of silence passed.

[Correct.] ‘Dings replied, simply.

“are you fuckin’ serious?? tryin’ to control time? this isn’t some experiment, ‘dings. this could, _shit_ , do you even have any idea what this could do?”

[It could give us answers. It could save us all.] Gaster cocked his head, his eyelights cold and calculating, his hands behind his back as he regarded Sans like a particularly interesting insect. [I used _your_ calculations, Sans. Are you suggesting that there is a flaw in your research? I have yet to find one since I hired you.]

“don’t you dare pin this shit on me, i know better than anyone what this can do. you could fuckin’ kill us all. you could end time, or make an unstable loop, or you could trap us down here till the heat death of the universe. stars, ‘dings, this isn’t-” Sans laughed and shook his head, having no idea what else to do. This wasn’t happening, Gaster couldn’t be serious. 

[Infinitesimal possibilities.] He said firmly.

“it isn’t worth the risks!” Sans shouted back.

[Our freedom, our lives are worth it. You forget what we stand to gain here.]

“IT COULD KILL YOU!” Sans roared.

He’d never seen Gaster glare at him so frigidly. 

[So be it.] he hissed, [I will stake my life on my work. This is the only chance we have.]

“bullshit. you got all this magic, all these SOULs, and _this_ is what your crackpot plan is? playing god?”

[THEN YOU FIX IT!] Gaster bellowed, the cold and calculating skeleton giving way to one bent forward like a predator, [I have spent years getting us here, devoting every minute of my life to breaking us free. What have you done, Sans? If you are so clever, if you have all the answers, then by all means, go ahead. Take up the mantle of Royal Scientist, lead us to the Surface. I will tell Asgore this very second I resign if you feel so strongly you could do a better job than me.] he growled, voice cold and menacing, teeth bared like a wolf.

Sans stayed quiet and still, staring up at his brother in disbelief.

[As expected.] Gaster said, voice low but no less colder for it, [If you will not aid me, I have no use of you. **Get out**.]

Sans ripped off his lab coat, threw it at his brother, and with a razor’s edge to his magic, vanished from the lab.

* * *

Sans did not return to the lab the next day, or the next week. 

‘Dings still never came home.

Papyrus didn’t ask where his eldest brother was, or why Sans stopped going to work, or why the magic rippling off him was sour and sharp.

* * *

Sans knew the second Gaster put his plan into motion. 

There was a sick feeling that rolled through him one late afternoon that made the magic in the joints of his bones ache from the sheer wrongness, like sharp metal fragments were in all those empty spaces and grating with every twitch. The magic was _his_ , familiar but wrong, twisted in on itself until, like a funhouse mirror, it was some corrupted version that scraped painfully against his SOUL.

He curled up in his bed, groaning as he tried to keep from retching up his magic. Stars, this was so fucked up. 

What if Wingdings actually succeeded? What if he was right?

He didn’t even want to think about what would happen if he failed.

Should he have stayed and helped? What Gaster was doing went against the literal laws of the universe, but wouldn’t it have been better to help guide that crazy ship instead of letting it sink, drowning every monster along with it?

What if there was still time to talk his brother down from that ledge?

Drawing himself up and taking a deep breath, he plunged into the Beyond--

\--and emerged into the lab, standing in the doorway of the room he had confronted his brother in.

Magic was so thick in the air, the whole area so charged with it that everything took on an unnatural glow, as if it were radioactive. The full power of the CORE brought to bear made his bones vibrate and rattle with concentrated magic, every particle of his body felt alive and overloaded with it.

The first thing Sans saw was the red SOUL shard was shining like a beacon from within its canister, a screaming high-pitched wail sounding from the attached machinery. Next were the three scientists who had been in ‘Dings’s office the other day, each operating a terminal or flipping switches or twisting knobs on various devices.

And last was Gaster himself, standing before a small yellow spark that hovered between his palms.

Sans met his eyelights from across the room, locking his gaze with his brother, pleading silently with a minute shake of his skull.

‘Dings hesitated, staring back at his brother with an inscrutable look--

\--and grasped the spark with both hands.

The SOUL shard flashed so brightly, Sans could still only see crimson even after he closed his eyes.

He heard the crack of bones and his brother howl in agony.

Then an almighty rushing sound.

He felt time and space ripped apart violently with an unearthly shattering, the void bleeding into reality with an accompanying concussive force that threw him backwards, off his feet and sprawling out onto the hallway. He struggled to lift his head, worried for a moment his 1 HP might have been jeopardized, then a dose of cold fear when he felt more than saw the dimensional tear widening, growing closer towards him, black tendrils like fingers reaching for his SOUL.

The SOUL shard extinguished.

The yellow spark went out.

The tear sealed up, as if it had never been there to begin with, leaving an empty and deathly quiet in its wake.

His bones quaking with a quiet rattle, Sans pulled himself to his feet and cautiously looked around.

His brother was gone.

* * *

Hours later Alphys would find him, surrounded by broken machinery and clutching a yellow bow in his phalanges.

“S-Sans? Wh-what happe-" her words cut off once she got a proper look at him, "A-Are you c-crying?” she whispered, eyes wide behind her glasses.

“He’s gone. They all are.” Sans said, voice thick with grief, not bothering to wipe the blue tears from his skull.

“Wh-who’s gone?” Alphys asked, confused.

“Wingdings.” 

There was an uneasy pause.

“...Wh-who is that?”

* * *

  
  


There was an ache he felt in his SOUL when he was in the family home, surrounded by memories, but he could have ignored it if it weren’t for Papyrus.

He’d never seen his little brother so disconcertingly hesitant as he had in those first few days after Wingdings’s fall.

He wandered about the house listlessly, and on more than one occasion Sans caught him in front of ‘Dings’s bedroom door, hand raised and balled into a fist to knock, and then a strange look came over his skull, an eerie blankness that had no place being anywhere near the vicinity of his little brother’s countenance, and the fist fell. Sans distracted him with a new puzzle, only to find Pap back again before that door the next morning.

The last straw came only two days later.

“SANS, CAN YOU HELP ME?” Papyrus asked, looking distressed. His baby bro wasn’t so much a babybones anymore, they nearly saw eye socket to eye socket these days, and Sans had a bad feeling he’d be demoted back to shortest brother very, very soon.

“sure pap, what’cha need?” he drawled, keeping most of the grief out of his voice.

“I LOST SOMETHING. I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT IT IS, BUT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT. I KEEP TRYING TO FIND IT OR REMEMBER, BUT I’M LOOKING AS HARD AS I CAN AND I CAN’T REMEMBER AND I CAN’T FIND IT!” Orange tears were forming in Papyrus’s eye sockets and Sans imagined his SOUL cracking felt just like this moment.

“yeah, i have an idea...we’re going to move.” he said, thinking out loud.

“MOVE?” Pap replied with surprise and a touch of alarm.

“yeah, capital’s kinda crowded these days. if we pack the whole house up then we’ll find what you lost, right?”

“WHERE WILL WE GO?”

“i dunno. i’ll figure it out.”

* * *

Sans sold the home that had been in his family since monsters left the ruins ages ago, the one built by the skeletons that came before him, long ago with their bones and their magic. 

He bought a place in Snowdin instead.

He picked it because it had a basement with a sturdy lock.

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Something was wrong.

  
  
  


Life had been quite relaxed in the intervening years since...the incident. Papyrus grew up in the village of Snowdin, boisterous and as loud as could be. His parents probably wouldn’t have approved, which made Sans all the more happy. He tried desperately not to think of what ‘Dings would have thought if he could see Papyrus today.

There was still the omnipresent gloom that pervaded the Underground, the hopelessness that always chewed just on the edges of monsters’ SOULs. A belief in the previous Royal Scientist keeping his promise had long kept it at bay for Sans, but now there was nothing to fall back on but the King’s plan. Just one more human to go, and then they would be free.

But something else niggled at him, his magical sense twinging a little off-balance. It felt like he’d been experiencing the sensation for a long while now, but he couldn’t recall feeling it yesterday. Deja vu he supposed. 

Sans had slept in late as usual, trudging down to the kitchen and pulled a box of Temmie Flakes from the cupboard, poured himself a bowl and drowned the rainbow colored cereal in milk. With a lazy flick of his wrist a spoon was summoned in a haze of Blue Magic and he mechanically ate. Sure, it was a monotonous act, but this felt unsettlingly familiar. As if he’d lived...

This exact day. This exact time. He’d been here--

“Oh FUCK!” Sans cursed flying to his feet. 

He shortcutted to his workshop, still in his pajamas, wishing he had his slippers on to keep the chill from his metatarsals and to mute the ‘clack, clack, clack’ of bones over the hard floor. The cold seemed to pervade all of him as he approached the large device shoved against the back wall. 

He reached out, gripping the dusty sheet that covered the old machine he had hidden here a decade ago. Tearing it away revealed the construct he designed to emulate his magic, that could trace the lines of time across the multiverse. It wasn’t fully functional, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to bring himself to fix it, but it could take readings just fine. He flipped the switch, the machine whirring to life, and Sans felt an ache run down his spine as the artificial magic spun into existence, in almost perfect opposition to his own, permeating through space and time.

His phalanges typed out a series of commands onto the console, the keyboard and readout all in wingdings. A safeguard by his brother, so that only the two of them would be capable of operating this device. After a few moments of watching a loading screen, the console displayed an image that made it feel like the marrow was drained from his bones and replaced with ice.

Time was forcibly bending in on itself.

He could see time progressing, re-tracing its carved path, then splitting off and looping back again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

“fuck.” he repeated, scraping his phalanges over his skull.

That bastard did it. He actually fucking did it. 

It just took ten years to kick in. 

He had to figure out how to fix this, how to unwrite the Source Code. The machine needed to be repaired, maybe he could acquire the old blueprints in the lab? He’d have to distract Alphys, but for right now he had some parts on hand that could at least be put to use. He popped of one of the side panels to the machine and began teasing apart the wiring--

\--pain ripped through every joint in his body and--

* * *

Something was wrong.

Sans had slept in late as usual, trudging down to the kitchen and pulled a box of Temmie Flakes from the cupboard, poured himself a bowl and drowned the rainbow colored cereal in milk. With a lazy flick of his wrist a spoon was summoned in a haze of Blue Magic and he--

Blinked, confused.

“FUCK!”

He’d said that already, hadn’t he?

He teleported to his workshop, surprised to see the device already uncovered, on, and running.

He’d been here already, hadn’t he?

He shook, bones rattling as he looked over the machine, noting the readout that indicated a redirection in the flow of time, and a side panel of the machine leaned against a wall with wiring exposed. The magic it was generating, he realized, was acting as an anchor. A safeguard against whatever it was causing the perversion of time. Here was an opportunity to mend it unimpeded.

He could fix it, he could correct the mistake his brother made.

* * *

Sans couldn’t fix it. 

He didn’t have the resources necessary. Ironically, time being one of them. Sans began tracking how long it took for time to loop back in on itself. From all he could determine it never lasted longer than a week, and the shortest loops might only be a few hours. Even if the machine could be fixed, it would have to be interfaced with the CORE, and that was too much work for a lone skeleton to complete in such a limited timespan.

Besides that issue, he didn’t have enough DETERMINATION. 

He had Alphys to thank for discovering just what that red SOUL trait was that ‘Dings used as a catalyst to alter the Source Code. He also learned that day what she’d been up to after most of the lab’s occupants had died like Gaster, or like him, quit. Alphys had found some of ‘Dings’s old blueprints, reconstructed the magic extractor and created creatures that should have never existed, unspeakable horrors that made him sickened. He confronted her on one of the loops, screaming at her until she broke down in tears and explained what she had done.

He didn't feel guilty over it, she wouldn’t remember by the time he was back in his kitchen eating Temmie Flakes.

Stars, he fuckin’ _hated_ his brother, and all the fallout of his choices. 

  
  


So he was stuck. He couldn’t fix the loop, and he didn’t know what triggered it in the first place.

Maybe the length of each loop was a clue? When he started taking notes in his workshop in the grounding presence of the machine, the duration was seemingly random, no patterns to be found.

But maybe that was a clue in of itself. Maybe someone was controlling it.

* * *

He found out what it was.

That fucking flower Alphys made.

The one she pumped full of concentrated DETERMINATION.

Sans had been relentlessly hunting for clues when he caught it on one of the loops. The thing had its vine coiled around his Papyrus’s mandible, tearing it from his skull, his little brother screaming in pain.

‘Dings was wrong; Sans was fully capable of killing.

“leave him alone!” he roared, nailing the creature to the ground in a hailstorm of bones, like some specimen of an insect pinned in a macabre display dripping in green ichor.

The creature laughed, wheezing in delight. “But he’s my _favorite._ ” he cackled gleefully. 

Sans eviscerated it with a dozen Gaster Blasters all fired simultaneously. 

And then felt the familiar pain ripping through every joint in his body.

* * *

He was back in his kitchen, eating Temmie Flakes.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

Again.

* * *

  
  


Sans was stuck here, forever. 

He contemplated just offing himself, but besides being too chicken-shit to try, he was pretty sure it wouldn’t do any good, and he’d just be back eating Temmie Flakes in the next 3 - 5 business days. He couldn’t even fuckin’ Fall Down, same problem there. He had surely lost all hope, everything a pointless waste. Nothing stayed. Nothing changed.

Well, there was one small change. He killed that flower at least dozen times, tracking it down and ruthlessly murdering it, where and what the weed was up to varying a little each time. But even those hundred or so loops spent stalking the murderous plant, it still changed nothing.

Sometimes Sans tried shit just for the sake of doing it. Dived naked into the pools at Waterfall. Blasted a hole through Asgore’s castle. Overloaded the parts of the CORE that still functioned into a meltdown.

Most of the time he just slept.

It was all pointless.

Nothing stayed.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


And then one day, on a particularly long loop, he awoke to a morning he’d never seen before. Things had _never_ progressed this far. Had it stopped? Was it over?

He checked on the machine, which offered him no clues or answers, and with nothing else to go off of, he got ready to take up his sentry post with a very tentative hope in his chest. 

It was that hope fluttering in his SOUL that made him make, what was in hindsight, a very stupid promise to a lady who didn’t even know his name. 

  
  


Unlike his late brother, he took his promises seriously.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: suicidal thoughts, violence, torture, and general dark themes. 
> 
> \---
> 
> The title of this chapter and opening lyrics are from [This Is The Time (Ballast) by Nothing More](https://youtu.be/QHlTMxBzguI)
> 
> \---
> 
> Part 2 of 3 for Sans 💙
> 
> You can check out the visuals I’ve added to go along with each chapter by visiting my [Tumblr](http://fallingstarstuff.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Stay safe, and stay DETERMINED. ❤️


	4. Ocean Floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings in the end notes.

  
  
  


_I'm on the bottom of the ocean floor_

_Eye for eye, drowning just to keep the score_

_Blaming the world outside ourselves_

_Surrounded by mirrors in a sinking shell_

* * *

The loops started again.

It was a human kid causing them this time.

Their SOUL had so much DETERMINATION he could probably re-write the Source Code, fuck it up, and re-write it again.

But he had made a promise to that lady.

He wondered how much more he could take before he broke down. Before he just gave in and took the kid’s SOUL, promises be damned. It was difficult to consider, seeing as that little human grew on him. They were a weird but funny kid. Quiet. Real sweet. Flirted with anything that had a SOUL. Hung out with him and his brother, made friends with every single monster in the Underground. Faced Asgore a dozen times and shrugged off death like it was nothing. 

Maybe to them it was.

“so how long are ya gonna keep doing this?” he asked Frisk one night in the MTT resort.

<Until I get to the Surface.>

“and what if you can’t?” Sans suggested with a shrug, “maybe it’s impossible. you ever consider just stayin’ here with me and pap?”

Sans could see their SOUL within their chest, bright and glowing like a miniature blood-red sun.

<I can do it.>

Fuckin’ human DETERMINATION, the most powerful magic in the world.

* * *

Something was wrong.

Something started itching in between his bones.

He couldn’t put a phalange on it, he just had the feeling that something was off. It almost reminded him of back when the RESETs started, how those first ones began as a bad feeling before he remembered in exacting clarity just what was happening.

But this wasn’t that. It just was...something.

He had long lost count of how many times a RESET happened, how many times the backwards magic of them made the gaps of his body explode in agony. He stopped going to his workshop to record when they happened or how often, and it had been at least a hundred loops since he last checked the machine. He hadn’t seen a point to it. Might as well now.

What he saw on the readout was...

Stars, it was terrifying.

And horrifying how Sans was almost happy to see it. 

An anomaly.

The timeline ending.

Not looping back, not continuing as it should, just stopping dead, leaving nothing behind.

Erased.

He knew he should be worried about that, but all he could do was chuckle madly to himself, marveling at something _different._

* * *

The next loop, he didn’t see his kid coming out of the ruins.

It sure looked like them at first, but their eyes were kinda funny looking, like there was a scarlet glint to them. More obvious was their smile; it was all sorts of wrong, stretched too much over their squishy human face, like some puppet was tugging tight on their lips, forming an unsettling grin.

But for all that smiling, they didn’t laugh at their jokes this time.

It wasn’t human.

It was the Anomaly.

And it wielded Red Magic.

* * *

Sans really hated being a Judge.

He didn’t have any choice in it. Whatever fucked-up being or force or deity or whatever decided to make him some paragon of magic also decided he had the ability to CHECK any SOUL. It was some ancient and lofty position that held honor and blah, blah, blah.

What it really meant was that Sans had to stand in this stupid ostentatious hallway with its towering columns and huge windows to wait for the human to pass through each and every time they made it this far. Some primeval magic bound him to it, and he had to heed it every. Single. Time.

This time he was thankful for it, since it meant the Anomaly couldn’t escape past this point. The thing wearing Frisk’s body and stealing their SOUL would have to either kill him, or give up and RESET. 

The Anomaly approached him, wearing that same creepy grin, with wide, gleaming red eyes, its clothes covered in dust.

He couldn’t afford not to care anymore.

“heya...you’ve been busy, huh?”

* * *

The first time Sans killed the Anomaly, his bones impaling their small body before they could take their first step, Sans watched the light fade from their eyes, their grin never faltering even as they bled out and their SOUL shattered.

* * *

The second time his Gaster Blasters disintegrated it so he wouldn’t have to see that creepy little face.

* * *

The sixth time, just out of curiosity, he grabbed the Anomaly’s stolen SOUL with his Blue Magic when its HP was low enough to kill it with a flick of his wrist. He got to feel it shatter in his magical grasp. 

That was neat.

Then he shuddered in pain as time rewound itself again.

* * *

Was this the eighth or ninth time? He lost count.

* * *

The feeling of blood seeping between his bones made him want to vomit.

* * *

The Anomaly really liked swinging that red blade around.

* * *

It liked throwing those blades with frightening accuracy even more.

* * *

...And it was getting _really_ good at dodging his attacks.

* * *

Stars, he should have trained with Pap and Undyne, his skull was dripping sweat.

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

9999999

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dying really sucked.

It hurt a whole hell of a lot, for one. The pain of a RESET didn’t quite compare to this. And it was slow too, he had hoped dusting would be a quick process, but no.

He was glad he decided not to off himself if this was what it entailed.

Heh, Red Magic. He never thought he’d see it up close and personal one day. The last swipe of that scarlet blade shattered his bones, marrow saturating his shirt, leaking out from between his teeth. Pure killing intent channeled into magic. A strike that would always result in death. 

“...so...guess that's it, huh?” He tried to laugh but it came out as a cough, red flecks splattering on the smooth tile below. 

The Anomaly watched and _giggled._

Fuckin’ freak.

Sans wondered what would come next. Would it just be like the void? Nothing stretching on forever?

...Would he see ‘Dings and Pap again?

Fuck, this _really_ hurt. 

He just needed to lie down.

  
  


Shut his eyes.

  
  
  


Take a nap.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Turn to dust.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

He was back in his bed, waking up.

....

“WHAT THE FUCK!?”

* * *

The kid showed up right on time, crossing the bridge in Snowdin Forest, looking as sullen as Sans had ever seen them.

Their eyes didn’t have that red glint anymore.

<I’m sorry.> they signed by circling their fist over their chest.

“...that’s it? you’re sorry? kid, what the hell just happened? i fuckin’ died thinking the world was gonna end and here we are, back to our usual tuesday morning post-RESET routine.” Sans waved the whoopie cushion in his hand. “can we just cut the crap? i’m gettin’ real sick of this, frisk.”

Aw shit, now the kid was crying. Sans frowned, watching tears spill down their face and trudged forward through the snow, wrapping them up in a hug.

“It wasn’t me.” they said in a hard whisper, their small fingers grasping his hoodie, tears saturating the blue fabric.

“‘s’ok kid, i know. it’ll be ok.” he said, ruffling their hair. “can you just...stop? with the RESETs? you can just stay here in snowdin and maybe another human will come along in a few years and you’ll get back to the surface.”

They went stock-still, and stepped back suddenly, eyes hard, red SOUL glowing like a beacon. 

<One more run. I want to try one more time and then I won’t RESET ever again.>

“you promise?” Sans says gravely.

Frisk knew by now just what a promise meant to Sans.

<I promise.>

* * *

The Barrier was broken.

Even more unbelievably, it was the flower that did it.

* * *

The Surface was...something else.

Nothing could prepare him for the feeling of sunlight on his bones. That gentle warmth that seeped all the way to his marrow. He closed his eye sockets, taking in a deep breath, smelling so many strange and wonderful scents, of earth and pine trees and wildflowers. To see the sky, boundless and wide, stretching onwards towards forever. It almost frightened him, something was deeply engraved in the insides of his skull to always look up and see a cave ceiling, but now there was nothing, no barrier between him and the endless blue, only gravity keeping him grounded.

He looked over at Papyrus, marveling at that same sun and sky.

...He wished his big brother were here too.

  
  


Nothing could prepare him for the days and weeks to come either.

It was so strange, this Surface world, how everything was so _unexpected_ and _new._

And it would stay that way, where every day was different and unknown, so long as his kid kept their promise. 

* * *

Humans were...

...So much worse than ‘Dings ever could have described.

He remembered the stories, the way his brother loathed that other race, but after Frisk, he thought it might have been a pent-up hate in his brother, due more to their circumstances than anything.

Nope. _Nope!_ Humans were fuckin’ awful. 

Frisk was ambassador for a week, _one week_ and Sans had read things that made him want to rip out his own SOUL. He found the human internet endlessly amusing (he had to admit humans had dark humor down pat, he’d spent hours laughing at “memes” that more than tickled his funny bone) but a closer look revealed a darkness in that violent race ‘Dings had long suspected about. All he had to do was search Frisk’s name or “Ambassador of the Monsters” and he came across words like “chink” and “faggot” that he had to look up, slurs he’d never heard before, and that was only the tip of the iceberg. 

There were humans that said monsters were better off dead.

There were humans that said Frisk should be in a grave right there with them.

A kid. A fuckin’ kid, ten years old and still in stripes. _They threatened to kill his kid!_

(He felt a little hypocritical at that, he’d run the Anomaly through with his bones countless times, but that wasn’t _his_ kid, that didn’t count.)

He convinced himself it was just words, that behind the safety of a computer screen humans would just talk shit, but wouldn’t do anything in person. It was the only thought that kept him from doing something stupid, like tracking down every last one of those mother fuckers...

That was until a conference Frisk attended with Tori had humans protesting the monsters.

Humans with _guns._

Tori had Frisk move in with him and his brother after that.

Frisk insisted that the weed be brought back to live with them too, and Sans reluctantly allowed it. At least this way he could keep an eye socket on his kid and the flower at the same time. Best to keep all his temporal troublemakers in one basket.

* * *

Something was wrong.

Something started itching in between his bones.

Dread crept up his spine at that familiar feeling.

“hey kid, you good by yourself for a bit?” Sans asked the human who was laying on their stomach in the living room, drawing another picture of the countless monsters who had escaped the Underground, this one a Temmie (he tried his damndest not to think of Temmie Flakes, he would never eat another one so long as he lived). 

Frisk flashed him a smile and nodded. Sans eyelights drifted over to the potted golden flower next to them, his tongue stuck out as he concentrated on smashing some unsuspecting human opponent in his video game. 

“‘k, i’ll be back soon. be good. _both_ of you.” Sans said warningly. Flowey died at that momentary distraction, aiming a malicious glare the skeleton’s way. The little shit had earned a bit more than just dying in a video game, but he would take the small victories where he could. Killing the flower one last time might cause Frisk to break their promise.

Sans did something he never thought he’d do once the Barrier came down; He took a shortcut back into the Underground.

Specifically his workshop.

He started up that old machine that had been shut down and resting ever since Sans made it to the Surface months ago. He had, probably foolishly, thought he’d never need it again.

He waited impatiently for that nasty magic to start up, twisting up his spine, and the screen to display the fate of the timeline.

Everything just...ended.

ERASE.

...How? The Anomaly was gone, it was just Frisk now, the kid had assured him that much. Maybe the thing truly was busted after all? It was wrong the last time, who was to say this wasn’t just another glitch? Sans scratched his skull, trying to think of what this could mean and other data points he could gather. Counting on one source wasn’t enough, and his itching bones weren’t perfectly reliable. Maybe Alphys had access to some old equipment in the lab?

Something to ponder, but he’d have to wait until he could investigate further. Pap was due back soon, and he didn’t want to get reamed out for leaving the kids alone. Tori had him and Papyrus both promise to protect the kid, and Sans had been gone a little bit longer than he felt was comfortable. His one goal, one guiding task, was to keep the kid safe and prevent a RESET. He powered off the machine, and with a flick of his wrist his Blue Magic set the sheet back over the remnant of his old life.

One shortcut later and he was in his living room again. 

It was empty.

A tendril of icy fear crept down his vertebrae. He caught the sound of voices, one belonging to Flowey but the other was that of a stranger.

He teleported into his brother’s room.

There was a human inside.

His eyelights extinguished.

“hey pal, why are you in my house?”

The human turned, looking at him with wide, blue eyes.

And she _screamed_ , bloody murder.

...What the fuck.

The weed echoed his thoughts precisely but he scolded him anyways. 

He glanced over the human, at first thinking she might have been a child, she was certainly small enough to be one, but no, she was an adult. In his house. _With his kid._

He had to practice a good amount of self control just then, and perhaps thankfully Papyrus chose that moment to arrive back home and barge into the room.

He watched the human woman very, very carefully.

She feared them. Not like most humans did, where they lashed out like cornered animals. No she cowered like they were actual threats to her existence. 

He could work with that. 

* * *

Her SOUL was INTEGRITY.

Except for Frisk, it was the brightest SOUL he’d ever seen in a human.

* * *

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?” Papyrus roared at him. He wasn’t just speaking at his usual booming volume, his little brother was angry at him. Not the, ‘YOUR PUNS ARE AWFUL AND I WILL PRETEND TO HATE THEM BUT ACTUALLY FIND YOUR ESPECIALLY CLEVER ONES QUITE AMUSING’ sort of anger, but the genuine, ‘Sans fucked up’ sort. He could count the times he heard that kind of anger from Papyrus directed at him on one hand. 

He almost thought he may have made a mistake threatening INTEGRITY.

Almost.

“i’m making sure frisk stays safe is all, it was better safe than sorry.” Sans said with a shrug. How was he to know she was just a computer technician and not some raving monster-hating bigot? Papyrus gave him a look of disappointment. Not ‘YOU STILL HAVEN’T PICKED UP YOUR SOCK!’ disappointment, but the bona fide, real thing. That stung, and Sans had to keep himself from visibly wincing.

“SHE THINKS YOU WERE GOING TO KILL HER! YOU’RE LUCKY SHE DOESN’T THINK ALL MONSTERS ARE LIKE YOU. STARS, WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THIS JOB YOU FINALLY TOOK SERIOUSLY?” 

“hey, i worked real hard at that hotdog stand.”

Papyrus was not amused, about as far from it as he could possibly be. “LEAVE ALEX ALONE, SANS. SHE IS A GOOD HUMAN.” he said, in the most serious tone Sans ever heard coming out of his mouth. It made his eye sockets go wide as he stared at the tall skeleton, his grin going slack. Papyrus deflated seeing his expression, shoulders slumping. Sans wasn’t sure if that was any better.

“I DON’T LIKE SEEING PEOPLE SCARED OF YOU.”

Shit, did the kid tell Papyrus about the bad run? No, no, Frisk was supposed to keep quiet about the RESETs, his brother couldn’t know, no one could know...

Oacam’s Razor sliced that thought away. Pap always was a surprisingly keen observer. All he’d have to do is notice those rare occasions when Frisk and Flowey looked at him with a hint of fear.

For all the times they had fought, Sans only managed to die once. 

The same couldn’t be said for them.

“i’ll leave her be.” Sans agreed, and Papyrus gave him a single nod before trudging off and leaving Sans with his turbulent thoughts.

* * *

It would be a lot easier to listen to Pap if the human didn’t show up on their doorstep.

The night when she fled to his and Papyrus’s door, she produced a drawing that, even as poorly crafted as it was, could only be of one monster.

Wingdings was _alive._

How the fuck did a human manage to find his brother??

What was he even doing here?

How was that even possible?

He felt the eyes of Pap, the weed, and both humans fall on him, and he realized he was staring in shock at the drawing INTEGRITY had produced.

No, no, he needed to act. He needed to get rid of it. No one could know what ‘Dings had done. No one could learn about the RESETs.

It didn’t take much to get the sheet of paper and he took a shortcut out of there, dumping the drawing into the void along the way. 

He landed in his workshop, pacing back and forth. Shit, no wonder the timeline was looking so wonky, it had to be something to do with his brother. If he was alive, and Sans couldn’t tell, _fuck_ , he’d have to be way, way down there. Fallen as far as a monster could fall before they became nothing. _Ten years_ he’d been in the sixteenth void.

For once, Sans considered that there might be a worse fate out there than living through thousands of RESETs. 

Later that night (technically early the next morning) Sans managed to convince INTEGRITY to keep the presence of his brother a secret.

He thought he also convinced her to at least try and be friendly with ‘Dings. He might be an asshat, but even a monster like his brother still needed someone to talk to now and again.

It sure as shit wasn’t going to be him.

It was pretty damn convenient she knew sign language.

* * *

INTEGRITY was a Blue Mage.

Her magic felt _just_ like his own. 

She used it on another human to save herself.

And to defend his brother.

* * *

Sans was beginning to wonder if keeping the RESETs a secret was feasible. 

Alphys had already found some of the blueprints that made them possible lying around the lab. Papyrus _had_ to know something was up, little bits and flashes of previous timelines seemingly reminding him of things that hadn’t technically happened but were nearly a memory.

The alternative, trusting monsters not to freak out when they learned their Angel was capable of locking them all back under the earth, wasn’t feasible either. Sans could only imagine how monsters or humans would react upon learning that awful power existed. No, he had to make sure it was kept secret, and Frisk was kept safe.

So it was irritating to learn that INTEGRITY had failed to keep her trap shut about his brother. One more hint that something was amiss in the universe was left to just carelessly float about. 

Of course he had to figure out just how bad the damage was, which meant dropping in for a surprise visit.

Which meant seeing his brother again.

That bastard was lucky he was in the void. Magic didn’t work right there, even for monsters like Sans who almost always had at least a toe dipped into those black waters. He couldn’t kick his brother’s coccyx even if he wanted to.

As it turned out, ‘Dings was missing his coccyx. Along with most of the rest of his body.

_Stars,_ he thought INTEGRITY’s drawing was especially shitty but, nope, it really was that bad. His brother was horrifically disfigured. There were permanent holes in his palms where that yellow spark had burned straight through the bones. His skull was both fractured and melted, like the bones were heated wax, his face was smooth and his right eye socket drooping, the light inside diminished to a fine point. His nasal bone and opening was gone and his teeth had fused together. 

How the hell he managed to get a jumpy little human to like him, let alone INTEGRITY, was a fucking miracle. He’d heard from Frisk and Flowey that the two were pretty chummy, but it was crystal clear just how close they were when the mage seemed ready to bite his head off for any perceived insult against ‘Dings.

It was cute. 

Of course his brother wanted to talk to him alone, and _fuck_ , he wasn’t ready for it. Ten years was nothing when the pain of each RESET was still so fresh. He’d need at _least_ another decade before his rage cooled.

“if you’re going to appoligize, you can fuck right off with that noise. there’s nothing you can say that would make up for what you did, so don’t even bother.” Sans snapped as soon as the human was out of earshot.

[I wanted to ask you for a favor.] ‘Dings said, voice strange and slightly distorted. 

Sans stared up at him, quiet for a beat, then burst out laughing. “holy fuckin’ shit, you haven’t changed.”

‘Dings watched him laughing for several long moments with only a mild frown before eventually he seemingly got fed up with him.

[What do you want me to say, if you will not accept any apology I offer? That I should have listened to you? That I betrayed you and I regret that? That I left you to fend for Papyrus all by yourself because of my selfishness?]

“actually, yeah, i would have fuckin’ loved to hear that, _ten years ago._ before you decided to strap me on this nightmare ride. you used _my magic,_ ‘dings. do you have any idea what it feels like for me every time a RESET happens? you don’t know what hell i’ve been through, so it’s more than a little late now.”

[All considering _I failed_ , I cannot go back in time, I cannot remedy my mistakes, so if you won’t listen to my apologies, then all I can do is request your help.]

“oh, so _now_ you want my help, _now_ I’m useful.” Sans rolled his eyelights, recalling ‘Ding’s last words to him before he fell.

[I was wrong! Is that what you wish to hear?] ‘Dings hissed trying to keep his voice low while his frustration spilled over, [Clearly, Sans, I was wrong.] he roughly gestured to his shadow body, [You should know better than anyone that I’ve had a _considerable_ amount of time to contemplate all of the mistakes I’ve made. There is nothing I can say or do to make up for it, as you’ve said, so I won’t waste my time on pointless endeavors. Perhaps one day you will hear me out and one day you will believe me when I apologize, but that day isn’t today. If there were any other method of obtaining what I need I would utilize it, but considering the number of beings aware of my existence is two, you were my sole option.]

....Huh.

“...you want me to do something for your girl.” Sans concluded. That was...surprisingly selfless for him. Here he was expecting ‘Dings to beg him to get him out of the void, not cater to some human.

[She isn’t mine.]

“that’s funny, i could have sworn i heard you yellin’ that the other day.” Sans chuckled as ‘Dings flushed a dull purple. Geez, his bro had it bad. “she’s an interesting choice, ‘dings.” 

[If you are going to insult her I would please ask that you refrain from doing so.] he growled.

“heh, i don’t have anything against her, besides the obvious, i didn’t think you’d go for a human was all. well, that and she’s too curious for her own good, probably why you like her so much. but what really gets me is you picked an INTEGRITY SOUL. about time you had someone to call you out on your bullshit. what i don’t understand is how she fell for you when you’re keeping secrets from her.”

[She doesn’t--I am sure her feeling are not-]

Sans shot his brother a flat look. “does lying to yourself come as easy as lying to everyone else?”

‘Dings looked anguished as his past sins were dredged up again, [...Sans, I-]

“what the fuck do you want, ‘dings?” Sans cut him off sharply before he could attempt more apologies.

[...Fire Whiskey. Her twenty-first birthday is in two days.]

“huh, no shit...a little young, isn’t she?”

‘Dings glared down at him.

“eh, not really my business.” Sans shrugged, “of course you’d share your favorite vice. i’d say you owe me, but i think we both get there’s a debt you’ll never be able to pay off.”

[I did have some Gold in my room, stowed away.] ‘Dings offered in a voice that might almost be considered meek. It reminded Sans a little too much of when he’d been told the CORE would never be able to break the Barrier. 

“i sold the house.” Sans replied, tonelessly.

[You what!?]

Sans glared up at his brother, “it had too many bad memories.” he said meaningfully.

That subdued ‘Dings, [...I understand.]

The brothers lapsed into uneasy silence, Wingdings “lips” pressed into the thin, wide line. It was an unfamiliar expression on an unfamiliar face. Where was the egotistical lording skeleton, and who was this morose ghost who bore only a fragment of resemblance to him?

“how are you not dead, ‘dings?” Sans finally asked, and the ghost shook his head. 

[I don’t know.]

Another uncommon admission.

“well, how are you here?”

[That I do have a better understanding of. There is a convergence point located there,] ‘Dings pointed to the hallway, [And I managed to find it thanks to you.] There was a hint of a smirk on his brother’s lips, [When you threatened Alex and used magic on her SOUL, I believe it awoke her own magic. It was like a beacon, and I followed it out.] Gaster’s smirk twisted into a snarl, his expression turning grave and familiar, eyelights extinguishing.

[I have no right, and no power, but I would strongly ask that you _never_ threaten her again.] he said icily. 

“noted.” Sans replied, his grin now a grimace. “i’ll get you your booze, just keep your human out of trouble.” he said, already gathering the magic to step into the void.

‘Dings sighed, his shadowy form slumping, in relief, in exasperation, Sans couldn’t tell.

[...Thank you, Sans.]

It wasn’t what his brother wanted to say, but probably all he could manage.

Sans left the ghost, returning to his messy and empty room.

* * *

‘Dings did _not_ keep INTEGRITY out of trouble.

She died, and of course his kid had to SAVE her.

His joints seared in agony. _Twice._

There were now _five_ people who knew the secret of RESETs.

And so Sans had to threaten the human into silence again.

* * *

His bones kept itching.

He couldn’t sleep. Which was the one fuckin’ thing he was really good at besides magic, and his favorite thing to do. 

He’d managed to get a report from Alphys but the data it provided was inconclusive at best. The machine in his workshop still insisted the timeline was ending, and soon. 

He _knew_ something was coming, he knew it in his marrow. 

Why couldn’t the Anomaly just march in like it did last time so he could kill it?

* * *

His brother seemed a little quieter than usual.

“what’s eatin’ you, pap?” Silently he begged the universe that Papyrus would not ask him that question back; Sans knew he looked as tired as he felt, and Papyrus would comment sooner or later, he always picked up on those little things.

“ALPHYS AND UNDYNE CANCELED THEIR TRAINING WITH ME.” he answered glumly. 

“i’m sure they’re just busy, bro, they’ve got nothing against you.”

“APPARENTLY THEY’RE NOT TOO BUSY TO BE VISITING ALEX.”

Sans felt alarm like a punch to his SOUL. 

“what?” he quietly asked.

“THEY’RE DOWNSTAIRS, RIGHT NOW. I SAW THEM MOVING BOXES INTO HER APARTMENT. ARE THEY HAVING SOME SORT OF BOX PARTY? I THOUGHT BOXING DAY WAS IN DECEMBER?”

“uh, i gotta go.” Sans muttered, and immediately teleported one floor up.

Alphys, Undyne, the mage and ‘Dings were all gathered inside the apartment. As were the parts he easily recognized as belonging to the Extractor.

Gaster was trying to get out of the void, and had recruited his former intern to do it.

He was going to re-write the Source Code, _again._

And the timeline would end.

Without a word or another thought, he lifted his hand to smash the section of the Extractor to pieces when he felt a magic too much like his own grip his hand and lowered it against his will.

_INTEGRITY._

Stars, she had so much magic. She wielded it like a child, sloppily and uncoordinated.

He’d hate to see what it would look like if she ever honed it into a sharp edge.

Easily he flicked off her magic and gripped her bright soul, dragging her closer while her fledgling magic struggled against him. It was like beating moths' wings, desperate and erratic but ultimately futile. 

“i told you...i said he deserves to stay there...and you go and start this...” 

He would make her listen this time, make her heed his words.

Gaster needed to stay in the void. There he was powerless and there he couldn’t hurt anyone else. 

Alphys and Undyne were a distraction, easily mitigated with a small movement with his off hand, his magic pinning them to the ground while he stared down the human. She didn’t _know,_ she didn’t _understand._ She was like him all those years ago, ignorant to what manipulation his brother was capable of.

And he couldn’t just come out with it and explain the dangers of working with the previous Royal Scientist, or what a RESET was or how Gaster caused them without Alphys and Undyne finding out as well. Who knew how far the secret would spread. They would absolutely tell the Queen.

Would Frisk try and start over again if their mother learned what they had done?

Too risky. He had to prevent a RESET at all costs.

What exactly prevented them was a guessing game that was slowly driving him crazy.

“I know who he is! I know he doesn’t deserve the void!”

“you don’t know him at all.”

He had to convince INTEGRITY, she was capable of discerning Truth, she would see through his brother’s lies, she had to...

“I know I love him!” she shouted.

He floundered, coming to the realization that she could never be convinced to stand against Gaster. 

And that was when she struck, her magic a battering ram to overpower his grip on her SOUL and she--

\--tackled him to the ground, what the fuck?

This girl, who screamed bloody murder at him just a few months ago was now hollering at him to let her friends go. How different she was from the last human to use magic on him. She didn’t have an ounce of killing intent in her. 

He almost wanted to laugh.

Instead he was going to put her in her place.

Before his bone attack could skewer her (blue bones, he couldn’t cause a diplomatic incident by murdering her), Sans felt himself pulled back just as ‘Dings grabbed INTEGRITY. Stars, those two idiots really did love each other.

Fuck, he had to make them _understand._

“an anomaly is coming, alphys has seen the report, she knows, whatever you are planning is going to have some dire consequences.”

They wouldn’t listen. None of them were listening to him! 

He gave them one last warning, one last plea, before retreating back to his apartment.

* * *

“SANS? IS THAT YOU?” Papyrus pounded on his door, apparently sensing his return.

“yeah.” Sans distractedly replied. This whole thing was a fuckin’ bomb waiting to explode, and he couldn’t figure out how to diffuse it without everything blowing up in his face. Save the timeline. Protect the kid. Stop another RESET. 

Had he said too much? Not enough?

Should he just go back up there and destroy the extractor? Should he corner INTEGRITY and make her see Gaster for who he really was? Spill all his secrets?

Stars, everything was easier Underground, back when he knew exactly what was coming next.

“THAT WAS VERY RUDE YOU KNOW!” Sans went cold, wondering if Pap had caught any of the yelling from upstairs, “TAKING A SHORTCUT IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION LIKE THAT!”

Shit, right after Pap said he was feeling abandoned too. 

Some fuckin’ big bro he was.

“...SANS? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?” Papyrus hesitantly asked through the door.

“heh, no pap, i’m really not.”

“DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?”

Sans stared up at his ceiling, half wishing he could, and half considering clawing his eyelights out before breathing a word of what happened to his unsuspecting brother.

“nah. i’m good. i, uh, gotta take care of something, i’ll be back later.”

“LATER? WHEN? WILL YOU-”

Sans stepped out of the void and into the empty town of Snowdin, standing behind Grillby’s abandoned bar. The air was cold against his bones, and deathly still and so quiet, muted by freshly fallen snow.

He just stood in the silence for a good long while.

* * *

He did eventually come home and apologize to Pap for walking out on him.

He wasn’t like Gaster after all.

* * *

Something was wrong.

He expected to feel the artificial magic Gaster had forged waking him when it finally happened, but instead it was just a concussive force that shook the building, and a whole hell of a lot of noise. The building was decently soundproofed, but whatever was happening upstairs was _loud._

Sans shortcutted upstairs with a frightening ease. The veil between reality and the void was paper-thin. What he saw when he landed was a scene of chaos and horror.

His brother was being ripped apart. 

The two scientists had managed to create a tear in reality, but it was violently unstable, void layers melding and melting and eviscerating his brother along with them. _Fuck,_ ‘Ding’s screams were worse than when he fell.

INTEGRITY was just standing there, watching.

“pull him out!” he yelled, shocking her into action, the powerful current of her magic flaring into existence.

_Shit, shit, shit,_ he tried to stabilize the tear with his magic, but it wasn’t meant to do this. He could slip in and out of reality, but forcing the tear open was, heh, like fighting the will of the universe. That never ended well, in his personal experience. 

The mage was struggling just as much as he was. 

He was going to lose his brother again.

“alex!” he urged.

He saw something in her eyes, a realization coming over her and then--

\-- _she dove inside the void._

Did she have a death wish!?

Suddenly there was an overwhelming flare of magic, a light flashed so brightly, Sans could still only see blue even after he closed his eyes.

INTEGRITY was thrown backwards, slamming against the wall behind them.

The tear sealed up, as if it had never been there to begin with, leaving an empty and deathly quiet in its wake.

Sans dove into the void. He wasn’t supposed to linger, you stepped in and stepped out, or else the place took a liking to you and decided you should stay. But he lingered now, casting his magical senses as far as he possibly could.

Wingdings was not here.

He was gone.

* * *

Sans returned to reality, panting with exhaustion.

His brother was dead. _Truly_ dead.

He couldn’t help but think there was so much he’d wanted to say, that he _should_ have said when he had the chance. He’d just gotten ‘Dings back and wasted a precious opportunity.

A movement on the ground caught his eye socket, and he saw INTEGRITY stir.

**She should have listened to him.**

Rage, blinding and incandescent sparked inside his SOUL, his bones heated with reignited magic.

He grasped her SOUL and dragged her towards him, the grey, upside-down shape Burned and fragile. It would be _so easy_ to just shatter it right here and now. He even knew exactly what it would feel like to have the core of her being destroyed by his magic.

And why shouldn’t he do it?

“answer me, INTEGRITY.”

_Why didn’t she just listen?_

“Your brother.” she replied, in a voice like dust.

He couldn’t tell if she meant Wingdings or Papyrus. 

He’s not sure if it even mattered.

He dropped her like deadweight, watching as she curled up in pain.

He wouldn’t kill her, but he would dole out a Truth worthy of INTEGRITY.

He told her what his brother did all those years ago.

And he watches as she breaks.

* * *

Sans fucked up. 

He knew it the moment he teleported back home and Pap asked what that racket was at nearly two in the morning, and all Sans could think about was what Papyrus would say if he saw what just happened downstairs. What horrified expression would he be wearing if he saw what Sans was capable of doing to another person?

Something inside him was twisted up and all wrong, just like the magic of RESETs. His LV never went up, theoretically the slate wiped clean, but maybe some things just transcend timelines. Maybe there was some lingering taint on his SOUL from killing that many times.

Stars, he was furious and grief-stricken but shit, that was pretty fucked up, wasn’t it? There was some sick delight he took in watching her hurting, to see the same anguish he felt visibly tearing through her, to punish her for not heeding his warning. Just like he did with Flowey. Just like he did with the Anomaly.

Something was wrong with him.

And, heheh, this part was so hilarious, _the timeline was still ending._ ‘Dings was telling the truth after all, he never intended to alter the Source Code again. His attempted escape wasn’t the cause. 

None of it fuckin’ mattered.

Nothing stayed.

Sans crawled into bed, wondering why it hurt just as much to mourn his brother a second time.

* * *

The weed tattled late the next day. Not the full story of what happened that night, but just enough to get Pap concerned that the mage might be hurt.

Sans glared at the flower and he looked back at him with pure, distilled disgust. He’d never understand how the murderous plant and INTEGRITY got on so well, even when she knew what all it did. Or why the fuck the souless weed even cared about anyone but himself.

Fuck, the _vessel_ was doing a better job of being a decent monster than he was lately. 

Sans tried to convince Papyrus that the human was fine, stars, _please_ don’t let him learn what he did to her. He didn’t want his brother to know just how fucked in the head he was these days.

As if he could ever stop Papyrus from being decent, the only decent thing in his life.

The taller skeleton marched up the stairs and knocked on apartment 404, loudly declaring their presence. The human answered looking...surprisingly ok. He would have figured she’d be a wreck by now, her SOUL in a horrendous condition when he...nearly shattered it. _Fuck._

“WINGDINGS?”

Sans’s head jerked up, looking past the girl, where he saw...

His brother. 

Out of the void. 

He was back home.

_How?_

Sans just gaped. When he was gathered up in a group hug, all he could do was stare at INTEGRITY-- _Alex_ , disbelievingly. This was impossible. He’d seen the rig, there wasn’t nearly enough juice to get ‘Dings out. Even the mage, powerful as she was, wouldn’t have been able to overcome the limitless magic of the void. 

She smirked back at him, pleased as punch.

_How??_

Something strange happened then, something he wouldn’t have noticed had he not been looking so closely at her.

Alex’s SOUL flickered, like a candle flame in the wind, extinguished for a second, then burning back to life.

But just a flicker was all it took for the lights in her eyes to go out.

“‘dings, grab her!”

His brother summoned half a dozen hands to catch her before she could hit the ground. ‘Dings carefully extricated himself from Pap, racing over to the girl, his eye sockets wide and his eyelights pinpricks of fear. Sans watched as he held her like she was made of glass, checking to see if she was breathing and her heart still beat in her chest, but looked only fractionally relieved when he confirmed it.

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH HER?”

[I have no idea, she was nearly recovered from her Soul Burn.] ‘Ding’s voice was frantic.

“HOW DID SHE BURN HER SOUL? SHE HASN’T BEEN OVERDOING HER TRAINING.”

‘Dings pointedly ignored Pap’s question.

[I must see her SOUL. Can you speak to her?]

Papyrus did, telling her to wake up while gently shaking her by the shoulder, his voice even louder than normal.

The two held their breath as her eyes twitched under her eyelids. 

Alex did not respond.

‘Dings looked more desperate than Sans could ever recall, touching her face with a gentleness he didn’t know his brother possessed. 

Which made what came next even more disturbing than it already was;

Gaster _ripped out her SOUL._

Alex screamed, thrashing like she was being electrocuted for a second or two before she went still and limp. His brother examined the sapphire SOUL with an indifferent, single-minded focus, as if she hadn’t made a peep.

“fuckin’ hell, ‘dings.” Sans breathed, revulsion churning in his SOUL. 

[CHECK her.] ‘Dings command him, as if remembering Sans was in the room. He was too stunned to respond for a second, and that was one second too long. 

[CHECK her!] ‘Dings bellowed impatiently.

He should be pissed at being ordered around again by his brother, but the look of desperation in his eyelights quelled it. Instead he summoned his magic.

  
  
  


That...wasn’t right...

_Shit_ , it wasn’t his brother causing the Anomaly.

It was _her._

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: Violence, death, child murder, slurs, and general dark themes and bad times.
> 
> \---
> 
> The title of this chapter and opening lyrics are from [Ocean Floor by Nothing More](https://youtu.be/Yo5fE-Zl-V4)
> 
> \---
> 
> Part 3 of 3 for Sans 💙
> 
> Sweet Celestia, it’s over. *dies*
> 
> Animation credit: [Khiaadams1](https://www.deviantart.com/khiaadams1/art/30-01-18-Knife-Slash-GIF-730820310)
> 
> You can check out the visuals I’ve added to go along with each chapter by visiting my [Tumblr](http://fallingstarstuff.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Stay safe, and stay DETERMINED. ❤️
> 
> The story continues in [Chapter 26](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580004/chapters/61730347) of From The Mouth of an Injured Head.


	5. Ripping Me Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is meant to be read _after_ [Chapter 28 of From the Mouth of an Injured Head.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580004/chapters/62752459)
> 
> Trigger warnings in the end notes.

  
  
  


_You make me a god when we come together_

_You make me the best, but I never get better_

_You rip out my heart, and you push in the dagger_

_You are the lie, you are the dream_

_You are everything to me_

  
  


Y̹̹̦̍̂ͥ̐ͥ͌̐o̟͓͕̗̭̟ͧͪ̓̊u̠̹̖̅̋̾̔͗̆ ͚̞̥ͨ́t̖̘̬̣͉͍̄̊̄õ͈̤̎ͧͭ͊̈́̿o̪͖̺͋̆̏̅̐ͥk̼̳̗̮͔͐͆̓̾̉̎̆ ̞̫̳̤ͯ̄ͅi̟̩̰̖̟͚͚̫̓̆̑̊t̝̦̲̤ͪ̏ ͈̝̟ͨ̀ͣa̱̻̤̙̞̒ḻ̗ͭl̥͚̈̽ ̘͍̤ͤͭf̻͉̫͉͎̲͎ͪͫ̏ͧ̿̉̾̍r̬̾ͩͪͦ͂o̟̮̹̙̯ͦ̒m̺̳̳̣̜͇̊ͭ̐ ͕̯̬̣̱̓͆ͭ̇̇̔ͬm̜͕̯̞͆̈́e͓̼͐͆̿ͫ͐͋͂

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


_Legends say that those who climb the mountain never return._

  
  
  


You did not want to return.

This life was never meant for you.

“Demon” they called you. 

Red hair. Red eyes.

Eyes that saw too much.

Tongue that never stilled.

Belonging to no one, beheld to nothing.

This was never where you were meant to be.

And so you left to climb the mountain.

And you climbed.

And you climbed.

And you climbed.

And you fell.

  
  


...

  
  


..

  
  


.

  
  


* * *

_Family._

You never had one before.

You never had a mother who bakes you pies.

You never had a father who tells stories over tea.

You never had a brother to confide your secrets.

He teaches you how to play cards.

You teach him how to knit.

He sees the worst of you.

_Crybaby._

But sees the best in you.

_A locket?_

He is your best friend.

He is your world.

* * *

“Are you a boy or a girl?” he asks one day.

Your reaction is immediate and thoughtless.

(How much you have let your guard down to be _thoughtless._ )

“I hate being a girl!” you spit venomously.

_Hands touch you, dirty hands, touch you, bad places, who touch only the girls, with their bad places, sinners, sinners, pain, like knives, wet and soft, red smears on pale thighs, splatter scarlet, crimson sighs, gurgling gasps, soft and wet, ruby droplets on the floorboards, red rivers from the knife, drip, drip, drip, down, down, down they fall..._

Asriel’s voice pulls you back home.

“You want to be a boy?”

Don’t be thoughtless.

Don’t cut your hair with the knife.

Knick your skin and taste copper and sweet pain.

“No.”

He nods. “Okay.”

You tilt your head.

“You don’t have to be either. You can just be Chara.”

Just Chara.

“I would like that.”

He smiles, pleased with himself, little fangs bared.

“Do you want to bake a pie?” you ask.

He agrees.

And there beneath your fingertips the buttercup petals are so soft.

* * *

He is crying.

Why is he always crying?

So _weak._

_You need to be strong for me Asriel._

You are the one who is in pain.

Your stomach tied in knots.

Your insides on fire.

Your mouth filled with blood.

Red.

Red.

Red.

Red hair.

Red eyes.

Red blood.

Red SOUL.

_It is yours, Asriel._

_It always belonged to you._

_We will do it together._

_Together we will be strong._

_Together we will be like a god._

...

  
  


..

  
  


.

  
  
  
  


This. 

Us. 

Forever.

  
  
  
  
  


...

  
  


..

  
  


.

  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

Why are we taking your body?

I must show you something.

You need your corpse to show me??

Yes.

I don’t like this.

Trust me.

  
  


Okay.

  
  


...

  
  


..

  
  


.

  
  
  


Chara, they think I killed you!

How presumptuous of them.

That one has a knife!

Kill him.

What?

We need six SOULs.

** Kill him. **

...

  
  


N-no.

  
  


What did you say to me?

I said no.

...

Asriel, they are attacking.

Do you not see, they are attacking us, and we have done nothing wrong.

Asriel, you promised. You said we would collect the SOULs.

Why are you not fighting back?

...

Why will you not speak to me!?

Asriel, kill them.

Kill them!

KILL THEM ALL!

Do you see? _This_ is what Humanity is!

ASRIEL!

KILL THEM OR WE BOTH DIE!

  
  


KILL THEM KILL THEM KILL THEM KILL

KILL 

** KILL **

  
  
  
  
  


...Asriel, _please_...

  
  
  


...

  
  


..

  
  


.

  
  


Where are you going?

Home.

Why do you have my body?

So we’re together.

Do you know what you have done?

  
  
  
  


...I’m sorry.

  
  


* * *

It is too much.

You are turning to dust.

You are _dying_.

No. No! NO NO NO NO!

Your SOUL is shattering. Cracks running through the core of your being.

Asriel is fading.

It is the end.

  
  


...

  
  


..

  
  


.

_ It refused. _

  
  


No.

You will not die.

You are DETERMINED.

You will live.

You will stay.

Y̛̜̰̒̓̿ͤͮ͝͡o̿̅͢͝͏̤͎̫̞ụ̵̡̫̬̝̭ͥ̽͑̐͜ ̛̖̦͇̓́͘wͫ̍̌͏͏̡̠̥̟ͅĩ͓̮͎̐͞l̸̵͕ͧ̊͡l̪͙̠͙ͣͤ͘͡ ̵̧̩͂̐̑̆͜͜ŝ̮̻ͯ̂̓̋͘ẗ̷̸̷̛͇̝̱̈́̿͒̉ä̫̼̹́ͩ̃́͟͡͞y͉̅̂ͥ̇͘ͅ.͛͡͏̵̴͉̜̻͚͜

Y̛̜̰̒̓̿ͤͮ͝͡o̿̅͢͝͏̤͎̫̞ụ̵̡̫̬̝̭ͥ̽͑̐͜ ̛̖̦͇̓́͘wͫ̍̌͏͏̡̠̥̟ͅĩ͓̮͎̐͞l̸̵͕ͧ̊͡l̪͙̠͙ͣͤ͘͡ ̵̧̩͂̐̑̆͜͜ŝ̮̻ͯ̂̓̋͘ẗ̷̸̷̛͇̝̱̈́̿͒̉ä̫̼̹́ͩ̃́͟͡͞y͉̅̂ͥ̇͘ͅ.͛͡͏̵̴͉̜̻͚͜

A shard of your SOUL holds on.

And so did you.

  
  
  
  


* * *

Years pass.

You watch them go by.

Asriel is not here. 

You can feel him, but he is very, very far away. 

As far as one can possibly be while still tethered to your broken SOUL by just a thread. 

You try to speak to him, but he never responds. 

You pretend he is asleep.

You spend your years watching.

Watched your parents mourn. 

Watched the seeds clinging to your clothes lay roots into the soil and grow.

Watched your body rot in the ruins. 

Watched monsters live and breed and turn to dust and fight and claw for freedom into a world that did not deserve them.

It was devoid of meaning.

All you can do is watch.

A tall skeleton visits the garden you had come to call your own, where the golden flowers bloom in the dust of Asriel’s body. 

The thread always feels strongest there.

He has a device in his hands, scanning over a fish monster, the latest of father’s new toys. She is so loud, so full of life. So full of DETERMINATION.

The tall one makes note of that too, scribbling something down on a clipboard. 

He talks with funny noises. He speaks with his hands. 

He signs something to the King and the fish girl, and the two depart, but the skeleton lingers, observing something on his little device.

He wanders in your garden.

_ What are you doing, skeleton man?  _

The device blips and beeps loudly.

He bends down, long fingers of bones scraping at the earth.

_ Wait, what is that?  _

His fingers clasp something, something broken and shattered.

All that remained.

All that you are.

A scarlet red shard of your SOUL.

_ No, no, you cannot have it! Leave it be!  _

He takes it with him.

You follow.

* * *

The skeleton thinks himself godlike. 

He thinks he can possess your DETERMINATION.

He thinks he can use it to control time.

He is a fool.

When his machine powers on and the magic of the Underground coalesces to re-write that which should be immutable, the laws that govern the universe, you feel a tug of your essence from the yet living shard of your SOUL.

A spark appears, a manifestation of DETERMINATION lording over time.

The godling skeleton tries to control it.

_ That does not belong to you.  _

_ It belongs to DETERMINATION!  _

You strike him down.

He falls.

You laugh.

The shard is spent, and everything fades away.

* * *

You can no longer watch.

* * *

You now reside at the end of all things.

Where the machinations of the world are written.

Asriel sleeps, tethered to you still.

* * *

You wonder how flowers can bloom where there is no sun.

* * *

The thread tying you to your brother stirs.

Asriel lives.

* * *

  
  
  


Something stirs you. 

Something that feels so familiar...

With a SOUL red as blood.

It draws you back to the Underground, where you see...

A child.

You stare at them for a long while, and you feel their gaze upon you as well. 

They can see you. 

Fascinating.

“Greetings.” you venture.

They wave hello.

They can hear you.

Interesting.

They do not speak.

“I like your shirt.” you say, experimentally.

The corners of their mouth curve into a slight smile.

<Thank you.> You don’t know sign language, but somehow you understood. How curious. <I like your eyes.>

“No you do **not**! No one likes them!”

DEMON DEMON D̢͍ͪEͨ҉̝M̻̚͟O͖̠̓̆͘͠Nͦ̇҉̡͓̥ ̛̬͓̃͆͜D̶̼͉̝͗̒̍͠͞E̴ͣ̊͆҉͙̟̭͜M̢ͭ͆̈͏̴̺͓̼Ó̶̥̥͉͔̽̚̚͘͡͠Nͮͮͥͮ͟͢͡҉͙̣̟̯ ͬͩ͊͋͢͏̸̹̗͓̜͝Dͯͦ͌̓͏̶̷̨̟̫̪͔E̴̵͎̤̖͎̤͑̆͐̄͐͟͟͠Mͯ̇͒̅̚͠͠҉͎͚̘͎̙͡Ǒ̈͐̾̄҉̗̯̜̠͖͜͢͠N̸̗̹͙̣̥͖̈ͮ̀ͯ̇͑̕͘͞͝͝

Their hint of a smile was gone now, panic making their chest rapidly rise and fall.

“Forgive me, that was unkind.” you say, trying to smooth over your outburst. This was the first being capable of communicating with you in years, ever since you died, you could not risk scaring them away.

“I have failed to introduce myself, I am Chara.”

<I’m Frisk.> they reply, seemingly accepting your apology. 

“Frisk.” you repeat aloud, as if tasting the sound of their name. “Interesting. How old are you?” you ask, curiously.

<Ten.>

...Of course they were. 

* * *

You cannot follow Frisk beyond where the remains of your body lay.

But you can watch once more, from the end of all things.

* * *

Frisk kills your mother.

They are crying, and you frown.

They want to go back.

And so they arrive here, with you.

_ Where are we? _

** THE END. **

_ I don’t want it to end.  _

_ I want to go back.  _

** Then go back. **

_ How?  _

** I will show you. **

LOAD.

* * *

Frisk dies.

They do not cry.

** Did it hurt? **

_ Yeah.  _

** It was nice at the end, was it not? **

** When everything went soft at the edges and you stopped feeling so cold? **

_ Don’t talk about that.  _

** You should learn to like it. It will make it easier. **

Their voice trembles now.

_ What do you mean?  _

** You will see. **

* * *

Frisk dies fifty-six more times that run.

They dislike how you keep count.

* * *

_ Wait, why am I here again?  _

** Is there someplace else you would care to be? **

_ The Surface!  _

** You cannot leave. No one can. Not without seven SOULs. **

_So why didn’t Asgore take mine!? _

** You are too DETERMINED to die. **

_ What if I don’t want to be? _

You laugh, mirthless and cold.

** Then you would not be Frisk. **

** This is your SOUL.  **

** This is who you are. **

_ What do I do now? _

** RESET. **

** Or stay here. **

_ That’s it? _

** There is one final option. **

** Give me your SOUL. **

_ ...I want to try again.  _

** By all means.  **

** I will be waiting. **

* * *

You do wait.

With a black smile.

You lose count of how many times Frisk tries to leave.

Which of you is more DETERMINED?

* * *

_ Fine. Why do you want my SOUL?  _

** I would like to try a little experiment.  **

** Something you have yet to attempt. **

** Something you are too frightened to try. **

_ I don’t...no, I don’t want...  _

** How do you know that this is not the answer? How will you know if you do not _try_? **

** You may always RESET if it is not. **

_ ...Just once....just to see if it works.  _

When you take their freely offered SOUL you almost remember what it was like to be human.

** Your SOUL is so much like mine once was. **

_ What happened to it? _

** It matters not, a tale for another time. What matters now, dear Frisk, is that you have just granted us all release. **

** I will show you what Red Magic is capable of. **

** Are you ready? **

**This will be so much** _**fun.** _

* * *

Asriel recognizes you by your smile.

“Let's destroy everything in this wretched world. Everyone, everything in these worthless memories...Let's turn 'em all to dust.”

You do.

* * *

Frisk watches from where you once did.

They are so, so quiet.

You are covered in dust.

They do not cry.

* * *

You are back home.

You are with your brother.

How much has changed since those years long gone, how twisted and strange the two of you are now.

Oh, Azzy, you have missed him so. It was so quiet while he slept.

Beautiful brother of yours, _such a fool._

He believes after all of this you are going to the Surface.

You grant him your blackest smile.

* * *

The Judge stands before you.

_ In my way. _

* * *

He kills you a hundred and twenty seven times.

It is always agony.

But you are no stranger to death.

And death is of no consequence to DETERMINATION.

* * *

You giggle after the blow hits.

You did not know skeletons could bleed.

Funny little skeleton man.

Now for your father.

* * *

Asriel takes your final kill.

You are _murderous_.

Your smile fades.

His stem bows in supplication.

With tears in his eyes he begins to _beg._

_Pathetic._

_Weak._

_Crybaby._

Your red gaze casts about the garden.

“Do you know what I remember more clearly than our days here, Asriel?...I remember how I gave you everything, all that I am. How you did not collect the human SOULs as promised. How you did not FIGHT. How you allowed us to die.”

You stride closer, slowly, the little flower flinching away.

“It is no matter. I have a new power to wield now. I can destroy more than just humanity.”

You lean down, your dark smile returning, your voice a sweet and crooning whisper.

“I can ERASE everything. Turn it all to dust, just as you said. Dearest brother, is this not what you so want?”

Your fingers delicately trace along his petals, feeling his trembling. Your magic courses through your veins, razor-sharp with intent.

“Sweet oblivion? To break this tie of our SOULs? It is what has kept us here for so, so long. You would not have been reborn and I would not be here, now. We would not be these broken shells of what we once were.”

“Chara, please don’t kill me.” he whimpers.

  
  


“...You should not have betrayed me.”

Your magic manifests into a red blade.

You strike.

Pain sears through your SOUL.

Asriel does not die.

_ ...What is this?  _

You strike again.

Asriel is screaming.

Your breath is ragged, your SOUL in excruciating _agony._

_ ...This is...this...  _

You strike again.

“CHARA!” Asriel wails.

He is crying.

_ Why is he not dead?  _

“...Crybaby.” you whisper.

Your red eyes burn.

Tears roll down your face.

_ I cannot...  _

You fall to your knees before the broken body of your brother, leaking ichor into the garden, laughing as trails of salt mar your cheeks.

The red blade falls from your fingers, into the dirt.

You are not DETERMINED enough.

You cannot wield the magic properly. 

_You cannot kill what you love._

* * *

RESET.

* * *

You are back among the golden flowers.

Frisk is _glaring_ at you.

_ You tricked me.  _

**...I did. **

_ Why!?  _

** I want this to end. **

_ I will get us out, and I’ll do it without killing.  _

You realize now who is more DETERMINED.

_ Leave me alone.  _

**... **

You do.

* * *

You watch as Frisk and Asriel break the barrier together.

You watch the monsters go free.

* * *

You watch from afar as Asriel stays behind.

You do not try to speak to him.

* * *

Frisk takes him away.

You wish now that you had tried.

* * *

Frisk is the sibling you should have been.

You watch as Flowey begins his new life, one without you.

It is, perhaps, better that way.

* * *

Frisk LOADs.

Twice.

They catch sight of you the second time, watching as always.

They pause.

** Why are you here? **

_To SAVE someone important. _

** I see. **

_ ...I’m sorry.  _

You wonder what for.

Their eyes are so sad.

** Me too. **

* * *

...Who is it that DETERMINATION deems so worthy of saving?

* * *

She is INTEGRITY.

A Blue Mage.

What she has done with her magic...

Her SOUL is the key.

She will come to you.

You must simply be patient.

* * *

You wait.

You watch.

And finally...

_Finally..._

She is here.

  
  
  
  


Greetings, INTEGRITY. 

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


_There beneath the willow tree_

_I learned a lot about the way of things_

_I learned that everything (the wind, the leaves) has breath inside_

_They were pointing ever east_

_To see the ever-turning aeon cease_

_Their wills were ever bent on waiting with all their might_

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Rape (vague mentions), murder, suicide, death, literally all the bad things.
> 
> \---
> 
> The title of this chapter and opening lyrics are from [Ripping Me Apart by Nothing More](https://youtu.be/omvfJOio2Uo)
> 
> \---
> 
> The title of this fic and closing lyrics are from [There Beneath by The Oh Hellos](https://youtu.be/4HR_9sEGh20)
> 
> \---
> 
> [The story continues in Chapter 29 of From the Mouth of an Injured Head.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580004/chapters/63117370)
> 
> S̫̯̰̞̜̅͐̏ͭ̉͟͝T̸͖̤͎̑̒ͫ̔͟A̧̧͈̘̻̰̗ͫ̔͗̽͘Y̴̷̘͓̊͟ ̧̗̹̆ͤ͢͝͞D̸̢͎̙̺̳͂ͤ̊͞͡Ě̷̵̠ͦͥ̍͌͆͡͡͞T̷̶̛̘̂̂Ě̸̡̝̖̲͔͉ͬ̃ͤȐ̰͍̰͖͢M͈̝̱͎̣ͩ̍͋́͘͜͡I̖̗̼͕͈ͪ̈́̉̎͞͝Ṇ̸̸͛Ĕ͎͔͞͝D̴̡̩̒ͮ̐͊̈̀ ̵̛͌ͫ͌̃͆̂͜͜͏͓̻͈͡❤️


End file.
